Babying Around

Firstly, the Hyacinths are coming along marvellously, you can practically see them growing and they smell amazing. They're on the kitchen table, which is where I spend most of my time, and they are brilliant. 

They are a bit squinty though. 

That yellow thing in the background, that's Perfect's float because we took him swimming this week. Because I'm the most neurotic person in the world, I was really worried about him getting cold, so we splashed out (hahahaha) and got him a wetsuit. If there is anything nicer in the world than a baby in a baby wetsuit then I don't even want to know about it. He was ADORABLE, as you would expect. And, big news, he's now brilliant at sitting up. What a total, total ledge.

Oh, he is wonderful! We've been taking him to baby things recently. Baby Sensory first, which was dire - you basically sit in a circle with other people who don't want to be there while someone blows bubbles at you. You're supposed to sing along to songs but the one who was running our session didn't want to, so she put on a CD and we all mouthed along to Row, Row, Row Your Boat. My boat was not happy AT ALL. Also, Perfect HATED it and screamed with his all every time I put him on his back. I don't think they were sad to see the back of us. 

Then Husband decided he wanted to take him to a song-session baby-music thing, and I mooched along too. They made us sit in a circle (why is it always a circle? I always wear dresses and I'm constantly worrying that folk can see my breeks) and we had to sing and shake tambourines at the babes. I was fine at that bit, and was half-heartedly getting into a bit of rhythm when they...and I can hardly bear to relive this...turned the music up and we had to dance around in the circle. Oh man, it was EXCRUCIATING - have you ever seen a roomful of adults dancing around a circle of couldn't-care-less babies? Believe me, you don't even want to. Awful. And the lady taking the class was all zany and clapping and all 'let's go faster! Hold hands with the person next to you!' and I was all 'No chance pal!' It was grim. I am not the right person for this baby lark. Husband really got into it though, one of the other mums even congratulated him on his singing. Crawler. 

And that was this week. 

Bumbaleerie Mansions

Evening all.

So I've been promising you a tour of Bumbaleerie Mansions for a while now - sadly, due to the arrival of the Perfect, the Mansions are never tidy enough to get a decent picture of. So instead, here's a wee bit at a time. Here's some things you oughter know before we get started:

1) The Crib was built in 1932.
2) It has a bomb shelter in the garden, that I would've taken a picture of today but it was snowing, and I couldn't find my shoes.
3) The people who owned it before Husband and I rescued it were bonkers. They superglued light fittings to the ceiling, shelves to the wall and floor tiles to the..em, floor. Quite, quite mad.
4) I love it with my ENTIRE FACE.
5) It has three original fireplaces in it.
6) The kitchen, where I spend most of my time, used to be the kitchen, dining room and pantry, until the Bonkertons knocked through - so the kitchen is montagonous. We're spoiled if we ever have to move though because I love the kitchen the most.
7) When we came to view it, I loved it so much that I did a wee dance in the kitchen and Mr Bonkers saw me and immediately added more Scottish bucks to the price. Husband was delighted! (False).

There's more here, if that ol' list wasn't enough.

So! Here's where I am right this very now!

This is our kitchen table, which is splendid and also ginormous. It can fit twelve people around it once it's extended, here's what happened when we bought it:

Me: Husband! That table fits twelve people around it once it's extended!
Husband: It's ginormous.
Me: And SPLENDID! We can recreate Downton!
Husband: Why do you always want to recreate Downton?

In the middle of the table is my most recent purchase - Hyacinths! I planted them today, here's hoping they survive. I seem to have this think called 'Killeverything-itus' where nothing green can live in my house. I've been given so many fecking Orchids and they last about nine seconds before sadly passing on.

FUNNY STORY I'VE JUST REMEMBERED: In Dobbies today, a man standing next to me said to his wife 'Look, they've got orchards!' and she said 'Not orchards, darling, ORCHIDS' and he said 'No, they're definitely called orchards' and she said 'no, they definitely aren't' and he wasn't having ANY OF IT. I'd just pushed my sleeves up my arms ready to get stuck in and RIGHT THIS WRONG, but Husband pulled me back and said I wasn't to get involved. They're probably still at it. Very funny and pointless, which is my favourite kind of argument with Husband.

Here's a close up of the, and I think you'll agree wholeheartedly with this, EXCELLENTLY planted Hyacinths:

Next, my second-newest kitchen purchase:

CHICKEN EGG CUPS! From the 70s, so VINTAGE CHICKEN EGG CUPS! Brilliant, although they caused a slight altercation when I bought them. I said to the lady 'I must have these, they are magnificent and a wise addition to any home, including those modelled VERY CLOSELY on Downton Abbey. How much, please?' and she said '£2.50'. There was a brief pause until I yelled 'WHIT? MARVELLOUS BARGAIN!' and grabbed the lot. Turns out, they were £2.50 each. But, as I said to Husband, shouting in a sales lady's face is practically a signed contract, so you can't just change your mind like a total mind-changer. Anyway, still worth it because they are wonderful, and not 'hideously tacky' or 'a total waste of money' OR 'literally the worst things I have ever seen'.

Lastly, here's a picture of my knittingsewingcrochetjunk stash as it is now that we had to clear out my sewing room for the Perfect:

There's so many of my favourite things on this bookcase - a photo of Perfect, right at the top, when he was seconds old. My Govencroft jugs, my tangled knitting, my sewing maching, my jelly mould of Betty. Lovely, and kept so tidy! Also, some of my least favourite things - the iron, lurking sinisterly in the foreground. Husband's unfinished jumper. Some minging rip-offy wool that I was conned into buying, and is a source of everlasting regret and anguish. I won't point it out, it makes me too angry. And I've just realised that Perfect's blanket isn't even in this picture but if it WAS, if I was tidier and it WAS here, instead of on the couch in the living room, I could gracefully and beautifully link into the next picture, which is progress on the ripple blanket, but since it isn't there, I'll just have to do it in a CLUMPY WAY:

Here's how I'm getting on with the ripples! At this rate, he should have it in time for his own children.

Pip pip!

What I Did at the Weekend

Evenin' guv'nors.

Lads, for the first time in LITERALLY A HUNDRED YEARS, Husband had a whole weekend off. This is a very, very rare occurrence for us, so we made the most of it yesterday by doing nothing until 3pm, then going out to buy some new binbags for Perfect's nappy bin.

So today, we put our feet down with firm hands and DID SOMETHING. And we have had such a fantastic day, it's been so, so nice.

We went out for breakfast...to Dobbie's Garden Centre in Livingstone. It was BRILLIANT! You get more breakfast than you can shake a hairy stick at for like, four Scottish rubles and it's braw (if it helps you, like it helped me, don't think about how they can charge £1.90 for tea, but only £3.99 for six different types of meat because it really does taste good). We decided on Dobbies because Perfect loves the fish, especially those giant gold-fishy looking ones with the brains.

We then went outside to look at the chickens. Oh, fellas, how I would love chickens! I'd love to watch them run around, and me and Perfect could feed them, and sit in the garden reading stories while the chickens pecked at our feet. Oh! Brilliant. Unfortunately, Husband is extremely short-sighted on the chicken front, and point-blank refuses to engage in conversations entitled 'Why We Need Chickens and an Eggloo' (that's what the chicken huts are called, is that not the most wonderful thing you've ever heard? I love a good pun).

Anyway, none of that matters because it turns out, Livingstone don't stock chickens. So we went over to the shops instead.

Quick aside chums, but recently I've subscribed to Bloglovin' which has saved me many, many seconds of time finding new blogs. One of them (and I know I'm so late to this) is Caroline Hiron's blog on Skincare (available here but I'm not taking responsibility for you going over there) - honesty, that woman knows her stuff. Sooooooo in a never-ending attempt to turn myself into a grown-up, I've grasped the opportunity to buy more skin junk. This'll surprise you, but I'm extremely suggestible to new skin stuff and makeup, and chickens - someone only has to wave a pot under my nose and go 'this'll make you thinner, funnier, brighter and more lady-full' and I'm on it like a car bonnet. So today, I bought this:

I haven't used it yet, but I'm expecting it to change my life! And my face. I'll let you know.

Anyhoo, we came home from the shops and had a lovely cup of tea. Aw! And then I made hummous! What?! I did! After seeing a recipe on Eating With My Fingers, another wonderful blog, very sad but very funny. Here's an arty photo (ha!) of the twenty-million chickpeas I had to shell.

and then, after a bit of kitchen magic, they turned into this:

Yum yum yum! It's so delicious and easy, honestly, give it a go. This is the one with Tahini, but there's an even easier recipe with peanut butter. If you try that one, please let me know how you got on! Anyway, it's so good that I've been digging into it all afternoon. Oh, skinny-ness! Why are we never to be friends? The only downside, and it's a very little downside, is the recipe makes enough to feed a thousand people, so we're going to be eating a lot of it over the next few days. But! It's probably very healthy.

So, I started a square-a-day blanket for Perfect, as you know, which was going ok-ish. Then someone on facebook linked to Attic24 (I know I'm so late to this too) and I was hooked! I'm SO FUNNY today, it's like I'm on FIRE! But really, she's awesome. So, I've changed my mind, decided not to fret about the wasted hours spent on the sqaure-a-day, and I'm doing a ripple instead. But guess what? I love it!

It's handy doing crochet because it's so portable. It's only one hook, one ball at a time, and the pattern is stored in my mega-portable brain. It's so easy too, once I got the hang of it, and it's very soothing to do the same thing over and over. Like cleaning the kitchen! (False, that was a wee dig at Husband, who seems to not notice junk lying about in the kitchen. Sorry for bringing marital discord over here, he really is the jewel of my face, apart from Perfect). This blanket is quite wide though, so it takes a wee while to do a row, maybe forty minutes? But I'm not a very quick crochet-er yet.

So that's me! A lovely day doing things I love, with the people I love most in the world.

Oh! It got a bit soppy at the end there for a minute. I think it's passed now though.

Tea-ing It Up

What-ho chaps! So I'm using this blog as a bit of a skive tonight, unfortunately. My friend is having a baby, and I said I would knit for her (I've made it sound like she asked but she didn't - I FOISTED myself upon her Chums, FOISTED! I don't know if you've ever been foisted upon. It is unpleasant, but my friend didn't seem to mind). Anyhoo, turns out she's having a lady baby! Now, you might not remember, but I was convinced that Perfect was going to be a lady baby. So I, in an uncharacteristic burst of madness, bought what could only be described as a 'room full' of girls' knitting patterns. Perfect, as you will remember, is a gentleman baby. So sadly, I room-filled in vain (but fear not, Chinas, we've now got what Husband calls 'a house-full' of gentleman baby patterns, so all's well). SO when my friend said she was having a girl, I leaped at the chance to knit a pattern of the lady persuasion. LEAPED! And that's not easy after having the Perfect, let me tell you.

Sadly, I have picked a very complicated stupid, lacy, ass-face pattern, and I've just had to rip it back for the fourth time. 'Right Eilidhbelle, girdle your loins! Start again!' said my Heart. 'Don't Eilidhbelle, there's internetting to be done!' said my Soul. 'Have we got any Ben and Jerry's left?' asked my Chins. 'I think we're standing on a piddle-patch left by the perfect...' said my Feet.

And that's how we got to this point.

So instead, I thought I'd tell you what I got up to today. Not too far from McDonald Mansions is a brilliant place called the Tilly Tearooms (not too far, but far enough, Burglars) - and it's the best place in the world. Now before we start Lads, I'd just like to say that 1) my photography skills are, at best, sketchy 2) I never want to be that person who is taking pictures of their surroundings instead of living in the moment and d) I accidentally ate my cake immediately. Here's their website (Tilly Tearoom) where, believe it or not, there are some better pictures!

Now, as you know, I'm not prone to flights of fancy but Tilly Tearooms is a cavern of WONDERFULNESS, and that's not an exaggeration. It's not the biggest, granted, but it's cosy - and how could you resist anywhere with a gingham tablecloth? Not easily, that's for sure.

And if you order tea, it comes with its own knitted tea cosy!

and with a little cup and saucer (and none of them match!)

 and with a little dainty silver spoon! I didn't get a picture of mine, because I lost it. I had a lot of Perfect's junk with me. And the other best thing about the Tilly Tearooms is....they have the best cakes in the universe. Here's the Hummingbird cake (again, sorry about this):

(I think Hummingbird cake is made with pecans and magic, but I wasn't really listening when the waitress was describing it. I DO know that it's three tiers of delightfulness that disappear surprisingly quickly). They have a LOT of cake:

And the other best thing is - the lady who owns it is lovely if you go in with your twenty week old baby who screams BLUE MURDER for no reason. She even offered to hold him for me while I ate my cake! But the Perfect is like that, people are drawn to him because he's wonderful. But still. Total legend. Oh man, it's just  the kind of place where you want to take your knitting and sit all day and drink tea, and eat cake, and knit, and it's brilliant.

Go! Go now! Phone me first though, I'll meet you there.

And finally, because it wouldn't be worth it otherwise, here's a picture of the Perfect. Chin chin!

I'm a Fanuary of January

Chums! So I made a New Years resolution to post on my blog weekly. Sadly, New Year was many, many weeks ago and I am yet to update. So I've changed it to monthly. That sounds about do-able, doesn't it?

So! How was your Christmas? All was good here, we were spoiled rotten, the lot of us. Husband got me the best thing in the entire universe (obviously apart from the Perfect) -

S'an Ali Miller teaset, what was featured in episode three of season two of Sherlock, when Moriarty comes for a visit! Oh! I can't even tell you how much I love it Chinas, there are very few material things I would save in a fire - my engagement ring and some 1930s glassware - and now this! I'd probably have to do two trips actually. As I type, me and Husband are enjoying a cup of Sherlock tea while the Perfect refuses to sleep. He's just too delighted that we've got a Sherlock teaset, I think.

Right, so making! Lads, I've been knitting up a STORM! Here's the blue one, unfinished in my last post, modelled here by the Perfect and Arm of Len:

Then I knitted a cable cardi for him. Oh man, have you ever knitted a cable knit? It takes a hundred thousand years, it takes so, so long. I was so grumpy by the time I'd finished knitting it, the Perfect had already graduated from Uni and had a promising career in Astro-physics. Here he is in it anyhoo:

It's not a brilliant photo, to be fair. Next, I knitted this amazeballs, textured green one in Sirdar baby crofter, which is my very favourite:

)

(You might have to zoom in a bit on that one) AND ANTHER BOY AT BABY SENSORY HAS EXACTLY THE SAME ONE! This is not as big a coincidence as it seems, since I saw the boy wearing it and thought, I've got that pattern at home, and promptly knitted  the same one. But! It's a bit of a coincidence.

So I'm still knitting away Chums, but I've got a bit of another project on the go at the moment. Actually, two. Actually, seven, and I'm wanting to do a bit of quilt-making cos it's been so long since I revved up the ol' sewing machine. It'll be missing me. Most of my projects (ha! check me out! I'm using 'projects' in place of 'bags of junk cluttering up my living room'. Got to add a bit of class, know what I mean?) involve knitting but one involves cross stitching a SAMPLER, oh yes, which is massive and the other...

Did I ever tell you that Roy is a photographer? I honestly don't know how mine are so bad, it's in my blood! Anyway, I'm doing a crochet-a-square-a-day blanket for the Perfect. It's not going well, I started it a fortnight ago and I've got six squares. But here's a thing nobody tells you about having a baby....it's quite hard to get five minutes to be creative.

The squares are crochet-ted in shades of grey, dark in the middle, then light, then a blue-y one, then the same again, finishing with a round of dark grey. I've done granny squares before but I wanted a simple pattern, which I found here, after getting inspiration for the blanket from here. I'm totally blown away by the talent of those two, you should definitely go over for a rake. When the blanket is finished, probably in another eighty days, I might do a border of little pom-poms to finish it off. 'Oh that's a lot of effort to go to' you cry, 'you must be superwoman!' Stop it now, I'm blushing! It's actually a piece of cake because Len bought me a pom-pom maker! Go and buy one right now, you can make a perfect pom-pom in about eight seconds and then you can leave them around your house to create a fun conversation with your significant other! It's brilliant! Here's my pom-pom selfie:

Quite, quite brilliant photography. I've made loads of pom-pom bunting but I've not taken any pictures of them yet, you'll be delighted to know. This is the face the Perfect made whence I showed him the bunting:

For he is his father's son. Sadly, he is also his mother's son, so he's just going to have to put up with it.

And LO! A Child Was Born

Good afternoon to you, old beans, I hope this blog finds you well. I am well, and much thinner than I was last time we spoke, because.....

...the perfect Perfect is here! As I type, he is half an hour away from being seven weeks old. And what a seven weeks! You wouldn't think that someone so very little would have such a massive personality but he DOES! Here are some of his favourite things:

1. The wallpaper in our bedroom, which makes him laugh very much
2. A rainmaker that Sister bought him
3. Eating (takes it from me) - he even does sucking motions in the fifteen seconds of sleep he takes a day.
4. Being up on a shoulder
5. Lying over my crossed legs
6. Emitting air from various bodily locations (takes it from Husband)
7. Husband singing Colourblind by Darius
8. Having a bath. 

Here are some of the things he hates with the fire of a thousand suns:

1. Darius. We youtubed Colourblind so he could see the proper version, and as soon as he saw Darius he went MENTAL. He thinks Darius is very derivative.
2. Sleeping. He thinks it's for wimps.
3. Wasting time by doing anything that isn't eating.

He is very little but he already has the rule of Bumbaleerie Mansions. And Husband has changed beyond recognition, he's just a huge pile of mush now. The Perfect gets whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and why shouldn't he?

 He is also EXTREMELY contrary, I don't know where he gets it from. I can make him laugh by making a specific noise. Hmmm, I'm not sure how well this will translate on the internetz but it's a kind of BBBBBBVVVVVVVVVZZZZZZZZZ noise. Anyway, HE find it hilarious - unless I'm trying to prove to Husband that I can make him laugh. Then he looks away, yawns and shuts his eyes. Contrary.

Me and him. Note my very hairy arm.

So that's what I've been up to! Looking after the perfect and eating! And, doing a little bit of knitting. There's something about Autumn that brings out the knitting fiend in me, I loves it. I've already finished a jumper for the Perfect:

Alright FINE, it's not ACTUALLY finished. I have somehow forgotten how to sew things together, so I need to be re-taught. But that combines two of my least favourite things: hand-sewing, and having to learn something. Gah! But I'll have to suck it up. Although I bet Len would put it together for me if I asked her. I'm now working on a new Sirdar Crofter pattern:

Spectacular photograph. I really want to do a Debbie Bliss Cashmerino jumper for the Perfect but I'm not MADE of money! Also, Husband is checking the joint account with alarming regularity these days. Chuh! Lack of trust in a marriage is a very sad thing.

I've also been watching A LOT of the Netflix - Downton Abbey in particular. And taking MOAR PICTURES of the Perfect!

I knitted that hoody. I had to stretch it to get it over his head, took the picture, then he went MENTAL and I practically had to cut it off him. But! He's gorgeous in it, and we've got a lovely picture of him.

He's the bee's knees.

Trying DESPERATELY to be normal

Hello all!

As you know, Bumbaleerie Mansions is the Buck Pal of Central Scotland and I love it with my entire face, but it is a tad high-maintenance. We have people here fixing things all the time. ALL THE TIME. Today, we are having more work done. I should say now that the people who are here today are the nicest people we've ever had working in the crib, they really are lovely. This post is not a reflection on them AT ALL. But it is challenging for me in many ways to have strangers in the house, because I have to try and pretend to be normal. Now! Usually, this is not a problem. I have managed to convince many, many tens of people over the years that I am a normal person. Sadly, at nine months preggers, this skill has deserted me. Here are some things I do in my daily (maternity-leave) life that I imagine most people do not do:

1. I sit upside down, with my legs up the wall, due to having the most ginormous ankles. I don't think this actually does anything, but it makes me feel proactive. I feel like I cannot do this with people in the house.

2. I chain-drink tea. I put one out and spark up the kettle again. It's not normal, except in my extended family, where it is totally normal, and you are a wimp if you can't handle forty cups a day.

3. Due to the perfect one, I have the most horrific heartburn (aside: our baby has TONNES of hair, we saw it on the scan. He/she's already got a mohawk!) and I'm just TOO BUSY to carefully measure the Gaviscon every time so.....and I'm not proud of this....I just swig it out the bottle. I'm worried that if they see me doing this, they'll phone....I dunno....the police or someone and shop me for being on the hard stuff. 

4. I knit all the time. No, that's a lie. I knit in SHORT BURSTS and then leave it lying behind me. I have a criminally short attention span, so there's wool everywhere, like in the bathroom and in the garden. Husband finds this very endearing (false).

Not to mention:

5. I have lost the ability to make conversation with strangers. You know how, when you're at work, you're introduced to someone who you have NOTHING in common with, but you have to crack on because that's your job? So you have to be all 'so, do you live close by? Oh, Outer Mongolia? That's handy for work!' etc? I have lost this now. I try so hard to make small talk, so I'll maybe think of a funny story about the stupid cat which in my head is very funny and endearing. But it ends up coming out as 'Look! My cat is stupid and other one is unfriendly! Hahahahahahaa!' then wandering off. It's dreadful.

6. My memory, never brilliant, has now left me completely. We were buying some baby junk the other day, and for some reason we had to give our address (why have shops started doing this now?)  - I had not a clue what number we lived at. I gave her the postcode, she told me the street, I nodded, and she said 'Which number of Bumbaleerie Avenue?' and I just stared at her. 'Em. What are the options?' I asked. 'Um, there are quite a few' she said, 'what end do you live at? Is it a high number?' 'I dunno.' I said. 'Wait and I'll get my husband' and Husband had to come along and save me. Even typing this now, I had to pause to think about it. The number is on the front door, if I get really stuck. But she clearly thought I was some kind of burgling terrorist address pretender! Hideous. And it's the same when I'm actually IN my house. Husband has moved my car a few doors up to let the people into the drive, and I went to the shop earlier and wandered right past. Right past my own crib! And they keep asking things like 'where's the bathroom?' and I just point vaguely upstairs and wish them well. It's torture.

ANYWAY! Some making news! I finished the cardi lo!

 What an amazing picture that is. Anyway, apart from the buttons, it is done! So you know what that means! MOAR KNITTING!

That was yesterday, this is today:

I think you'll agree that if I continue at this speed, the jumper will be finished in no time! Probably in time for the baby to start university! Also, when I was taking this picture, one of the men walked in and it probably looked like I was photographing my couch. Sigh. That's not a normal thing to do, is it? Gaaaah, this is ghastly.


Husband is aware of my new-found awkwardness around strangers, and I think it worries him a bit because when he left this morning, he said 'Just.......just.....just.......TRY TO LEAVE THEM ALONE, will you? Remember, they're working, they don't want to be interrupted every five minutes.' and I winked at him and said 'You betcha guvna! I'll just axe them if they'z wantin' a cuppa!' then I did a wee sailor's jig through to the kitchen but then I FORGOT to put my normal accent back on and ended up asking them if they wanted 'a brewsky' and how long they'd 'been in this crazy game we call plumbing'. By the time I got back to the living room, Husband was hiding his face in a cushion, and kind of...groaning. 'Please just leave them alone, please just let them get on with it' he pleaded. 'Please. We need to get it done today'. I was still mortified by the frat-boy persona that I'd manage to adopt in the hallway between the living room and the kitchen so I just nodded silently and switched the laptop on. And that's how I got to this point in my life.

The one with all the baby updates

Hello chaps!

I'm so sorry I've been off the blogging network for so long, but I have many, many reasons for to why. These reasons are tenfold, but here's two of them:

1. My computer and laptop BOTH gave up the ghost
2. So did my camera

And I don't know if you've ever tried blogging with no camera or computer, but let me tell you Chinas, it is not easy. I even tried doing it on the iPad but the blogger app suh-hucks and I couldn't get it to go right. But yesterday me and husband finally bit the bullet and shot (hahaha!) out to buy a new laptop and lo! Less than twenty-four hours later and I'm back in the bosom of the blogsphere. And what a lovely bosom it is too.

So, a quick update on the ol' pregnancy! First, to set the scene, here's a picture of me a week ago:

Yes, I am a whole week more pregnant now, taking me up to 36 weeks tomorrow. Sorry that this is such a rubbish picture, Husband has this stupid rule where he'll only take one picture and if it's rubbish then too bad. And husband is good at a great, great number of things but taking pictures is not one of them. Anyway, am I not GINORMOUS? Really starting to feel like a beached whale.But I am not complaining chaps, not at all, because I have had the easiest pregnancy in the entire universe. No joke, it's been a complete doddle. Probably because I'm carrying the most perfect babe in the entire universe.


So husband and I have mainly been decorating and buying things for the future King (or Queen) of the Universe. You would not believe how much stuff something so very little needs, it is mental. Now, Bumbaleerie Mansions is in a horrendous state at the moment due to all the re-jigging of all the rooms, so forgive these hideous pictures. First, the Moses Basket!

That is in our newly decorated bedroom, and I love it with my whole soul. I wish I could fit in it, it would be lovely to be rocked to sleep. Next, the high chair!

I know you're thinking, why would you even bother taking a picture as rubbish as that? I know. But I can't bear to take the plastic wrapping off in case it gets dirty so I've just peeled it back a bit so you can see THE COOLEST HIGH CHAIR IN THE WORLD DOT COM. It's chrome and leather, oh yes, this baby is STYLISH. Next, a present from Auntie Sister! (My sister, obviously, not the baby's)

It's a little....em...something.....babygrow?...can't remember, with LITTLE TORTOISES ON IT! And it's TITCHY, I don't even think anything will be small enough to fit in here! Quick aside, Sister has been knitting up a storm for the baby, honestly you wouldn't believe how much knitting Sister and Len have done for Baby Bumbaleerie, it's like a wool shop in their crib. Anyhoo, Sister started knitting about five minutes ago and she is the most perfect knitter in the entire world. Her tension is PERFECT, she chooses excellent colours and she's got a knack for picking the coolest, comfiest patterns in the world. She's so annoying. And LEN, the fabulous LEN, has knitted a shawl! And it's so gorgeous, I'll get a picture up here of it soon, but it's massive and perfect, and so soft, and the baby is so lucky to get it. It's a real heirloom.

And I've been knitting too! It's very difficult when you don't know what flavour of baby you're having so I've been trying to knit a mixture of stuff. I'm so close to being finished this one:

But not close enough that it's finished in time for this post being published.


Hmm, so what else? Well, I turned twenty-eight last week (gaaaaahhh! Twenty-eight!) which was hideous, but better than turning twenty-seven for some reason. And I got a lovely present from Len and Roy and Sister:

But it's no ordinary handbag, oh no! It's a changing bag! Isn't it cool? And you'd never guess that it was a changing bag, never in a million years. Which is exactly what I wanted, because changing bags are SPECTACULARLY naff.

And also, Len made me a birthday cake. Now, I don't know if you're familiar with the story of the woman who tried to make a hedgehog cake for her daughter's birthday and it was so scary that the children at the party started to cry - if not, find it here. Anyway, I was plunged into hilarity for several days when I first saw it and sent it to everyone I know. So Len, for she is truly Len the Magnificent, made me this:

Happy, happy days!

Some news

Hello chaps. It's been so long, and I'm so sad about this, I'm sure you've all left to read another blog because you know you'll not be getting anything from me. But please come back, because I've got a good excuse for being away for a hundred years. See if you can guess:

and...

or maybe:

or even...

Oh yes Pals, the Bumbaleerie baby is due in September. And we are over the moon. Really, really, OVER THE MOON. I absolutely can't WAIT to see him/her (but probably a her) - and that's why I've been away for so long. Because the last few months has been 'Husband, d'you think I might be.....?' 'Husband, it says I'm definitely....' 'Husband, I can't really climb stairs because I'm.....' 'Husband, I think the baby needs that giraffe, I've got a really strong feeling' etc.

And it's BRILLIANT being pregnant! Sure, you can't do things like drink wine or eat brie or bend over too well. And maternity clothes you can wear to work are scarce on the ground. AND people look at you like 'hmmm, fat or pregnant?' but it's ACE - she (for the sake of argument) kicks ALL THE TIME and she's very, very strong and clever. She's probably going to be the cleverest baby in the whole world.

And I have celebrated in my usual fashion. I was going to knit a jumper, or a blanket, but instead I thought, no, KNIT ALL THE THINGS! So I have been:

And I've developed this almost SPOOKY connection to the baby. I know for a FACT that she loves jellycat toys. So I've bought a hundred million of them. Here's the latest:

Husband has put his foot down with a firm hand and said 'no more Jellycats' - well, that's the POLITE version of what he said. He also said that the baby would need things like a cot and a highchair, so Jellycat toys were not a necessity. Well, I'll be the judge of THAT. 

So that's our gossip! We've been for the 20 week scan now, and of course she's perfect - even the scanning lady said the baby had 'gorgeous feet' - and she's an EXPERT! The scans are less than fun because you have to hold in your peep for a million years to push the baby forward and it's total agony. AND Husband keeps making me laugh ON PURPOSE so I'll maybe peep myself. But it's totally worth it because you get to see the baby on scan, and I just KNOW she's going to be brilliant. And now we're on the countdown to September, bring it on!

Hmm, so in other news - I know I promised you a virtual tour around Bumbaleerie Mansions but it's in a bit of upheaval at the moment because we're moving rooms for the baby. So I think I'll wait until we've got the baby's room sorted before I do that. Also I've got about three pairs of breeks (Scottish word for knickers) lying about just now and like I said, I can't bend over to pick them up.Well, I probably COULD but you know...I can't be bothered. And I don't really want pictures of my breeks on the internet. Howzat for a catch-22?

In making news, I was working on a quilt for somebody's wedding present, which I finished and then forgot to take a picture of. But here it is NEARLY done:

All fabric from the wonderful Eternal Maker, go and have a wander. They post really fast too, so say someone had asked you to make a quilt for May in January, and gave you the money for it and everything, and then you forgot, and suddenly it was the beginning of May and it had to be finished for the 10th May, WELL! You wouldn't have to worry at all, because they would get it to you sharpish. 

I'm going to finish now with a story called 'How I Guessed I Was Preggers'.

So, I'd made Jamie Oliver's spring veg lasagne for dinner on the Monday night and decided to re-heat it for dinner on the Tuesday. So I did. But I accidentally burned it to the bottom of the pan and when I took a spoonful out, the bottom was all black and blistered and I COMPLETELY lost control of myself. I was crying and wailing, and yelling for Husband, who almost broke his neck running down the stairs to see what was happening. 'LOOK!' I sobbed, 'LOOK! It's all mank and it smells horrible and I HATE it! You have to take it outside right now, get rid of it!' By this point, my flesh was crawling and I was starting to boak. So Husband gallantly carried the pan outside to the bin, cleaned up the kitchen and got rid of the smell, obviously thinking that I had finally gone mental. And the whole time he was doing that, I sat in the corner, rocking and doing 'gentle moaning' and shaking. AND THEN, spent the rest of the night doing that thing when your spine shivers. At about half ten, I thought, 'that was a weird reaction' - and bought a pregnancy test. 

Toodle pip!

Rage, RAAAGE

Afternoon lads.

C'mere, is this the most annoying thing in the entire UNIVERSE?

That's from the same ball of wool. How annoying is that? It doesn't even match! It's supposed to be a boy's jumper, but the one on the right is CLEARLY for a lady baby! Oh, raging. Then I started the sleeve, thinking 'Oh, it'll all pull together' but NON!

L'sleeve is the same as the back! The front is an anomaly! Oh,  rage, fellas, rage like you've never seen. Husband came home for his lunch (leaving his manky shoes on my clean kitchen floor, but that's another story) and I waved it under his nose.
'Look!' I sez, 'Look at this! I've been sold a dodgy ball of wool!' Husband peered at it.
'Yes.' He said.
I paused.
'What do you mean, 'Yes'? Can you even see how it's dodgy?'
Husband sighed. 'No' he admitted.
'Well, it is. There must be someone we can phone about this MASSIVE ISSUE. Do you know how many hours I've spent on this? MANY! MANY HOURS! And look at it!'
Husband nodded mildly and took his sarnie into the living room.
'Well, let's hope it doesn't happen with YOUR JUMPER!' I yelled. 'You'll have the back of a gentleman wtith a LADY FRONT!'
 I sense he does not think it's a big a problem as I do.

But now I'm going to have to re-knit the entire front. How annoying is that? It's not even for anyone, I was just knitting for the sakes so I'm not even motivated to do the entire front again. Furious.

Anyway, to cheer myself up, I went and got my picture taken with Daniel Craig.

Oh yes! That's really him! Sort of. It's my Christmas present from my brother (Calpol) and I LOVES it! My hair is really mank in this photo, it's CLEAN! But I couldn't be bothered styling it. I can't remember if I've said this before but having curly hair is really a full time job. There should be some kind of government grant for the afflicted, in my opinion.. Here's a better photo:

Note his fetching scarf that I knitted for him. Oh Daniel. You're lovely, even if you do look A LOT like my Uncle Eric, which makes fancying you a bit awkward.

Now, the sharp-brained amongst you will remember that this is not the only life-sized cardboard cut-out that Calpol has ever bought me. NON! Here's me with Her Maj at my birthday:

Husband is really freaked out by them. He says most people don't have two cardboard cut-outs in their house, most people don't even have ONE! But I say, that's a shame for them. They should get some. They make for hilarious photo oppertunities and they are a talking point when the man comes to fit your kitchen floor three days later than he said he would.

We've done lots of work in Bumbaleerie Mansions recently lads. I think my next post will be a virtual tour of the crib....oooooooooooooooohh!