Some news

Hello chaps. It's been so long, and I'm so sad about this, I'm sure you've all left to read another blog because you know you'll not be getting anything from me. But please come back, because I've got a good excuse for being away for a hundred years. See if you can guess:

and...

or maybe:

or even...

Oh yes Pals, the Bumbaleerie baby is due in September. And we are over the moon. Really, really, OVER THE MOON. I absolutely can't WAIT to see him/her (but probably a her) - and that's why I've been away for so long. Because the last few months has been 'Husband, d'you think I might be.....?' 'Husband, it says I'm definitely....' 'Husband, I can't really climb stairs because I'm.....' 'Husband, I think the baby needs that giraffe, I've got a really strong feeling' etc.

And it's BRILLIANT being pregnant! Sure, you can't do things like drink wine or eat brie or bend over too well. And maternity clothes you can wear to work are scarce on the ground. AND people look at you like 'hmmm, fat or pregnant?' but it's ACE - she (for the sake of argument) kicks ALL THE TIME and she's very, very strong and clever. She's probably going to be the cleverest baby in the whole world.

And I have celebrated in my usual fashion. I was going to knit a jumper, or a blanket, but instead I thought, no, KNIT ALL THE THINGS! So I have been:

And I've developed this almost SPOOKY connection to the baby. I know for a FACT that she loves jellycat toys. So I've bought a hundred million of them. Here's the latest:

Husband has put his foot down with a firm hand and said 'no more Jellycats' - well, that's the POLITE version of what he said. He also said that the baby would need things like a cot and a highchair, so Jellycat toys were not a necessity. Well, I'll be the judge of THAT. 

So that's our gossip! We've been for the 20 week scan now, and of course she's perfect - even the scanning lady said the baby had 'gorgeous feet' - and she's an EXPERT! The scans are less than fun because you have to hold in your peep for a million years to push the baby forward and it's total agony. AND Husband keeps making me laugh ON PURPOSE so I'll maybe peep myself. But it's totally worth it because you get to see the baby on scan, and I just KNOW she's going to be brilliant. And now we're on the countdown to September, bring it on!

Hmm, so in other news - I know I promised you a virtual tour around Bumbaleerie Mansions but it's in a bit of upheaval at the moment because we're moving rooms for the baby. So I think I'll wait until we've got the baby's room sorted before I do that. Also I've got about three pairs of breeks (Scottish word for knickers) lying about just now and like I said, I can't bend over to pick them up.Well, I probably COULD but you know...I can't be bothered. And I don't really want pictures of my breeks on the internet. Howzat for a catch-22?

In making news, I was working on a quilt for somebody's wedding present, which I finished and then forgot to take a picture of. But here it is NEARLY done:

All fabric from the wonderful Eternal Maker, go and have a wander. They post really fast too, so say someone had asked you to make a quilt for May in January, and gave you the money for it and everything, and then you forgot, and suddenly it was the beginning of May and it had to be finished for the 10th May, WELL! You wouldn't have to worry at all, because they would get it to you sharpish. 

I'm going to finish now with a story called 'How I Guessed I Was Preggers'.

So, I'd made Jamie Oliver's spring veg lasagne for dinner on the Monday night and decided to re-heat it for dinner on the Tuesday. So I did. But I accidentally burned it to the bottom of the pan and when I took a spoonful out, the bottom was all black and blistered and I COMPLETELY lost control of myself. I was crying and wailing, and yelling for Husband, who almost broke his neck running down the stairs to see what was happening. 'LOOK!' I sobbed, 'LOOK! It's all mank and it smells horrible and I HATE it! You have to take it outside right now, get rid of it!' By this point, my flesh was crawling and I was starting to boak. So Husband gallantly carried the pan outside to the bin, cleaned up the kitchen and got rid of the smell, obviously thinking that I had finally gone mental. And the whole time he was doing that, I sat in the corner, rocking and doing 'gentle moaning' and shaking. AND THEN, spent the rest of the night doing that thing when your spine shivers. At about half ten, I thought, 'that was a weird reaction' - and bought a pregnancy test. 

Toodle pip!

The One Where I Eat So Much I Get A Food Hangover

Hello Chinas!

Last night I went to Chop Chop in Edinburgh's Haymarket - if you haven't been, stop what you're doing immediately and go. It is the BAWS. I was going to take some pictures but then I didn't, because I really didn't want to be the weirdo who takes pictures in a restaurant. So, you'll just have to use your imagination! It's traditional Chinease food, so none of yer deep fried chicken junk that we are so familiar with. No! It's all hand-prepared noodles and homemade dumplings and crispy shredded potato and fluffy rice AND I ate so much that I had to lean against a pole at the train station to try and pull myself together. Total dumpling overdose, fellas, leading to what can only be described as a 'food hangover' upon waking this morning. I'm not sorry though, I would do it again right now.

I love food.

And because of that. I have been GORGING on the new Nigella series. I'm only just at the stage where I can watch Nigella and not yell I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER every time she appears on screen. I love her because she is SAUCY and I think we'd be really good friends. HOW CAN I MAKE THIS HAPPEN? I love the way she's all 'Ooooooh, just reaching up hear for this NAUGHTY SAFFRON!" - sometime I do this for Husband, until he grows weary and asks me to stop. Also, it's not the same when I lick my fingers, rake around in the cupboard, use saucy innuendo like 'oh, this pan is FILTHY *wink*' and then serve up toast. It's not the same at all.


In making news, Chinas, last week I decided to start on my 40's style dress that I talked about in this one. Total nightmare fellas, and I know exactly why. It's a combintation of 1) not knowing how to do it 2) not being patient enough to learn 3) not reading things properly AND 4) wine. So I (sort of) had the bodice finished and was cracking in to the sleeves when I realised I had sewn the sides inside out and the sleeve on the wrong side. So I gave up on that. Also, it doesn't fit me - it's too big around the bust (tee hee), arms, butt and shoulders, and too tight around the waist. Story of my LIFE chaps! And now I not only have to learn how to make it, but also how to adjust it. I might give up on it as an idea.

And to finish, here's a video of the unfriendly cat doing 'Paw and Other Paw'. I think we can agree that the quality is INCREDIBLE. Sorry that it's sideways, I'm not sure why that is the case or what I can do to fix it.  S'laters!

The One With Some Making

Evenin' fellas.

So, you know how sometimes I'm all 'I will FINISH all the things before starting MOAR of the things!' and other times I'm all 'Start moar! Start moar things! Finish none of the things!' Well, just now I'm in the Starty phase, not good at all.

This is me cutting out the pattern for my Collette Macaron dress. I have all the fabric and notions for this, I'm all set. Have I started it? I have not. Why? I dunno. Oh, wait! I DO know! It's because I haven't made a dress yet, and I heard that this was a hard one. So, I released my grasp on the bull's horns. PS. I hate cutting out patterns. I wish I could employ a pattern cutter-outer called Derek or something. Please leave me a comment along the lines of 'You can do it! Just make it! What's the WORST that could happen?!' and then I'll be all 'YES I CAN DO IT NOW!'. Thanks.

Anyway, after completely abandoning THAT I moved on with THIS:

This is a rubbish picture of the pattern I talked about in this fascinatingly exciting post  - how can I fail when I have so many books on dressmaking? How hard could it be?! Answer: quite hard, because I haven't read any of the books. I should like to take a moment's pause here, while you contemplate the fact that I am actually, a qualified Librarian. A qualified Librarian who can't be bothered to read. But I need to be SHOWN, being SHOWN is the key.  I don't have TIME to learn a new skill (I don't know if you can hear the whine in my voice, but let me tell you - it's there), I'm too BUSY with watching Sherlock all the time and looking at FLOOR TILES.

Also, I couldn't upload it on my last post but here's a picture of the display what I made at wurk. I am ludicrously pleased with it, but it did take me A MILLION YEARS:

Aaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhhhhh! Too scary! Try to be brave though. This took me so long to make, I actually lost interest and covered the whole thing in black paper, and wrote 'COMING SOON' in scary, blood-dripping letters until I could be bothered again. I told my boss it was 'to build suspense', and I think he believed me. Tee hee!

Also fellas, Husband and I braved the shops to price more flooring (you might want to take a break at this point to let your heart settle down after all the manic excitement that reading my blog must bring into your life. Brace yourselves lads, it's about to get EXTREME.) Anyway, we had a massive fight (in Ikea, obviously, because no-one has ever left Ikea without having a fight with SOMEBODY) because Husband was all 'Make a decision about the lights in the kitchen!' and I was all 'THESE LIGHTS!' and Husband was all 'I don't like those ones' in a really huffy voice, and I nearly stabbed him with a Helmsblug Potato Peeler. So, we left Ikea sharpish and found ourselves in Next. And here's what happened:

Me: *wanderin' around, looking at stuff, minding my own business* Husband, I've got an itchy bit on my leg that I think might be A HORRIBLE DISEASE......
Woman Next to Me Who is Not Husband: Em......
*massive embarrassed silence*
*woman looks at my leg*
*I miserably look at my leg too*
*woman looks faintly disgusted*
*I nod sadly and am FURIOUS with Husband for wandering away and getting me into this awkward situation*
*woman shudders and walks off*
*I slope away to find Husband, who is standing, awestruck, in the lighting section*
Me: HUSBAND YOU WEREN'T EVEN THE LADY WHO WAS STANDING NEXT TO ME! SHE WAS SOMEBODY DIFFERENT! YOU MADE ME SPEAK TO A STRANGER! THEY MAKE VIDEOS WARNING CHILDREN ABOUT THAT!
Husband: *in a breathless whisper* ...look....
Me: WHA.......oh..........OH!

 OH YES IT'S A LAMP SHAPED LIKE A TELEPHONE BOX AND IT'S MADE OUR HOME COMPLETE! 

The One With No Pictures

I can't upload pictures on the computer I'm using just now, so instead I'll be doing 'complex descriptions' which is probably what they used before pictures were invented anyway and everyone got on ok THEN (note the perfectly logical arguement I've engaged there).

Oh, I have done so many lovely things this week! Last night I went to see Anna Karenina at the flicks and it was...and I don't want to exaggerate here.....THE BEST THING IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WOLRD EVER EVER EVER! I'm not a huge fan of Keira Knightly's work but she was just BORN to play Anna, she's the perfect mix of dutiful wife and RAUNCHY SEXPOT and I now love her with my entire face. Go and see it right now, stop what you're doing, leave work, leave home, go and watch it. Then come back and tell me how much you liked it.

Like I said, no pictures, so here's some instructions so you can conjure a strong mental image of Keira Knightly as Anna Karenina:

*IMAGINE THE MOST PERFECT THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD*

Oh, this is much easier than I thought it was going to be.

Right, NEXT!

I ordered the Sherlock box-set for me and Husband to watch of an evening. I know I'm so late to this, but is Sherlock not just THE BEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? It's so good, I don't understand why they don't make it illegal not to watch it. Bennedict Cumberbatch IS Sherlock Holmes, he literally IS Sherlock. Martin Freeman IS Dr. Watson. 221B Baker Street is EXACTLY how I want Bumbaleerie Mansions to look. Here's a picture of it:

*Awesome things like a stuffed owl and mismatched chairs and dodgy wallpaper and union jack cushions and glass decanters and books everywhere*

Also, I have ordered a new dress pattern, which is quite funny (funny if you're NOT Husband) because I still haven't ever finished a dress despite having several thousand million patterns. But I couldn't resist this one, I've been looking for a 40s style dress for AGES and I couldn't find one that I liked enough (clothes are getting really dear aren't they? Even in like, ASDA and Tesco and that) and then I 'stumbled' (ebay) upon this magnificent pattern:

*Butterick 40s Style Dress Pattern, which I'm going to make in a Royal Blue colour and maybe white piping, if I can work out how to do that*

Isn't it lovely?

Also, at work I built a giant, open Vampire's mouth for a Halloween Display, try to be brave here:

*picture of scary, open jaws of a Vampire, eeeeeeeeekk!*

How's your week been?

And TIME..goes by... so SLOWELEEY...and TIME...can do SO-O-O MUCH

Lads! It's been ages! How have you been?

I've been well.com and that is the truth. Lots of changes going on in Bumbaleerie Mansions, too many to list old chums. But, I love a good ol' list so let's just do it anyhoo:

1. The STAMP CANVAS is DONE! Yes, the great stamp artwork of 2014 is finished two whole years early. How'z THAT for organisation? Here's a picture of same:

 Close up:

 And the grand unveiling (complete with Honoured Guest)

It is currently leaning against the wall that it will eventually be hung upon, as soon as Husband's drill is 'fixed' (it was fixed ages ago, he thinks I don't know. Nag nag nag).

Anyhoo, that's the canvas finito. It took a billion years to do, I had to neatly trim all the stamps before gluing them really carefully in position. It took a lot of patience (wine) and calm meditation (more wine) and actually, it became quite therapeutic (false, it was a pain in the bumbaleerie, but once I'd started I felt I had to see it to the end)

2. I made a lot of quilts, one to sell and one as a present. The selling one:

                                                   (Notice the sinister presence of the iron)

and the present, for my cousin's daughter:

I love Michael Miller fabric, it is the BAWZ.

3. My sister got me the Paul Hollywood baking book for my birthday and I made the basic bread recipe and it was amazingly easy and deli-licious. So I can add 'bread making' to my list of ...em...listing. I did have a picture but I have accidentally deleted it, so just use your imagination to think of 'a loaf of bread'. Tasty lookin' isn't it?

Ok, that's only three things that've been happening so didn't really warrant a list. Oct well.

A Bit of Finishing

Ta daah!

Finished! Here's a picture of it next to my hand, so you get some idea of how teeny-tiny it is:

I was going to do a picture of my hand next to a penny or something so you could get some idea of the size of my hand, but I thought no, that's mental. Anyhoo, I think I'm going to do a wee pile of these bad boys and send them off to charity. I was going to try and get the stupid cat to wear it, but he was all 'you are out of your mind if you think I'm wearing that'. He is very selfish. 

It's very good to finish something though, I've been very smug about it. I got into a bit of a trance with it, and just shuffled around bleary-eyed going 'MUST. FINISH. FINISH. FINISH. FINISH.' I was trying to neaten up the collar when the window cleaner came to the door and made me lose count. Oh, I was FURIOUS. Although in retrospect, I did feel a bit sorry for him. It cannot be pleasant to be greeted at a door by a glaring pajama-clad lady with an afro and mad eyebrows, brandishing a knitting needle. Especially when that lady is hissing 'Do YOU KNOW how many STITCHES are on HERE? Me neither, THANKS TO YOU! WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHAT WINDOWS? I'VE NOT EVEN GOT ANY WINDOWS!' But we're probably friends again. I wonder if he needs a jumper knitted? Hmm.

Today I had some folk round to the crib, chillaxin' an that, and someone brought through my fabric stash for a rake. And I was shamed, SHAMED, for how much l'oeufly fabric I've got just sitting around. So I decided to do a bit of fabric-y making too:

and ended up with:

unt a close-up:

...but it's still not quite right. I'm going to have a fiddle with it and see if I can't neaten it up a smidge. I'm still very new to sewing and I don't seem to be getting any better at it. And I HATE that. I don't want to learn stuff, I want to be immediately good at it. So every time the thread knots or the fabric bunches, or the bobbin runs out, I throw a massive tantrum and phone Len in tears.

It's not a very relaxing hobby, this one.

The Unlucky PJs

Hello. I have a grave topic to share with you today, Chinas. The Curse of the Unlucky PJs. Here they are: *WARNING! DON'T LOOK AT THEM IF YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT BAD LUCK*

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'those don't look so bad!'. They are, my friends. THEY ARE. Here's a list of bad things that have happened whilst they have been adorning my person:

1. I wore them when I stayed over at my friend's house. My friend then moved to Singapore.

2. I was wearing them whilst skipping down the stairs in Bumbaleerie Mansions and I tripped over the stupid cat and broke my neck. Nearly.

3. Every time I wear them I spill wine on them. And let me tell you, no matter NO MATTER how hard you suck, you CANNOT get all the wine back out of them.

4. When I bought them, Husband and I got into a HUGE fight on the way home from the shops over how much I'd spent. Coincidence?

5. I was wearing them when I realised the tadpoles had been eaten.

There's more, but the above have probably shocked you too much for me to continue so I won't. But I trust you are suitably convinced that these PJs are unlucky.

But I'm trying to break their unluckiness. I'm away from the Bumbaleerie crib at the mo so I decided to bring them with me. I phoned Husband.

Me: Husband it's me.
Husband: Hello, light of my life! What are you...
Me: Let's forgo the Oxbridge pleasantries. I'm phoning with important information regarding the unlucky PJs. Do you think I should pack them and try to break the unluckiness? Or play it safe and wear some luckier peejoojes?
Husband: Well, I don't believe in Unlucky PJs so....
Me: That's ridiculous reasoning. I don't believe in Evil Mexican Vampire Goats, but we know THEY exist.
Husband: *silenced by this completely valid point, no matter what he says later*
Me: Yes. So should I take them? Or be safe?
Husband: You decide. Listen, I really do have to go back to work now.
Me: *huffy now* O-KAY-UH! I was just CHECKING-UH

So I've brought them. But I'm maybe cheating a bit, cos I've got another pair of pajayjays that I might wear if I decide that unluckiness is not something you can break. But I'm trying to be brave, so I might wear them. But then again, I might not.

IN OTHER NEWS: I've started making a new dress, YAAAS. I went to the Canary Islands and now my skin is peeling off. I lost four and a half pounds on holiday, and I don't know where it went (four and a half pounds in weight, not in Scottish Yen) and Husband lost three. How? Dunno. I have taught the unfriendly cat how to say please (FACT). I can now run almost my whole running route (just under four miles) without stopping. I found a lovely nail varnish topcoat that costs less than a pound (Scottish Deutsche Mark, not weight) and it makes nail varnish last for ONE HUNDRED YEARS. AND the Bumbaleerie Sweetpeas are BLOOMING!

Holidayz! Woop woop!

Finally, finally made it to the end of term and let me tell you Chinas, I didn't think it was ever going to come. Now, people don't realise but Hairy Librar-ys don't get the same hollybags as teachers, so I have to work next week and a week in August but apart from that I'm offffffffffffff for a lovely FUNF weeks! Yaas!

Husband is working a lot of this weekend so I've grasped the opperchancity to visit the 'rents. And it is MAGNIFISAUR, let me tell you! Len and Roy live in the middle of nowhere, so it's all trees and air and squirrels and SILENCE. I actually grew up here but I've forgotten what it's like so every so often I go 'LOOK! There's a SQUIRREL! I LOVE IT!' and everyone sighs and looks at me pityingly.

Their nearest town is Helensburgh, which is on the West Coast of Scotvegas. Helensburgh is a proper seaside town, you should totally come for a visit. Only in Helensburger can you try the best ice cream in the entire universe (and I make it my business to know) courtesy of Dinos. They make it with condensed milk (I think?) and it is so good that me and Husband once fell out because he took a lick of mine when I wasn't looking AND HE'D ALREADY FINISHED HIS. I'm still furious thinking about it, actually. Also in Helensburgh is the recently opened Wee Kelpie, selling gourmet fish 'n chips. Today I had monkfish with homemade tarter sauce, here's a picture to make your pipes water:

So good, soooo good. And after we'd eaten it, me and Sister went to the wool shop and I got a new project:

...which I will be continuing with later, accompanied by my good friend MISTER RIOJA:

Oh yes! Good times! There's a new fabric shop opened in Helensburgh, and I so wish I'd been able to get a picture of it but I didn't want the owner to think I was a weirdo. But it's lovely, it's teeny tiny and crammed FULL OF STUFF, so obviously I felt right at home. And I got new fabric and binding but I've not taken a picture of it yet so you'll have to wait until next time. Oh, I do like to build the tension on the ol' blog!

Right so I've talked a lot on here about Len and how good at making she is. Len is also an exceptionally modest person and does not like to go on and on about what she's been uptae. We're very similar, in that respect (false). Anyhoo, she's agreed to let me showcase her most recent project. BEHOLD!

It's made from Michael Miller fabric and I WANT it. I WANT IT! I want it so much, I'm genuinely considering getting married again so I can use it. It's so, so lovely and perfect for Weddinging Around, which you do a lot of when you're getting married. I've been telling her for ages, she needs to get them up on Etsy because I'm certain people would buy them but she won't have it. She's just handed me a glass of the hooch, what a nice lady she is! Good old Len Goodman. But isn't the bag just MAGNIFICENT?

So chaps, I'm off to enjoy the sound of the rain bouncing off the ground, get stuck into my knitting and have a good old hearty slurp of the vino. I hope you have a lovely evening too!

A Giant Bumbleerie Bee

As I said in my last post, Husband and I have been decorating up a storm. Decorating the house the way we want it is lovely, but decorating itself suh-hucks because there's stuff everywhere and we keep losing things. Like, for instance, my favourite tweezers. Now! I have regular fights with my eyebrows, if left untreated they  meet in the middle then migrate towards my mustache. It's a constant battle of wills which I can only fight if I have the correct tools. And now the only thing stopping me looking like a giant eyebrow on legs has been lost in the swirling vortex of decorating black hole-ness. Total nightmare.

Also, there's a funny feeling of, well the house is total chaos so we may as well stop exercising and eating nice things, and instead just sit around playing 'How Many Chips is Too Many Chips?'

(Here are the rules to HMCITMC: Buy chips. Eat as many as you can without stopping. Stop when you have to say 'Ugh, I've eaten too many chips...' The winner is the person who has eaten the most chips. Good luck!)

But we're getting there. Today I got all the stuff back into the kitchen and made a lovely dinner:

Anyway, when I was making this FEAST a monser-sized bumblebee flew in the window. I say flew but actually it was so big, I think it might have driven into the kitchen in some kind of car. It was at least twice as big as the stupid cat, it had tattoos and was lifting weights as I went over to it (false).

So, since I had been ABANDONED by Husband, and because I don't want to be scared of flying things with minging legs that can sting, I got a glass and a sheet of paper and did that thing that people do. And it worked but the buzz was so powerful it vibrated up my arm and totally freaked me out. This whole story is a bit pointless because I didn't get a picture of the bee, so you'll just have to take my word for it. When you have to defend your house from gigantic insects, you don't tend to stop and think 'Ooooh, a Kodak moment!' No, you ride with the beast.

But since I picked it up I keep thinking that I can hear it, and I keep going 'Husband! Is that bee in my hair?' and Husband wearily looks and says 'No.' 

Sigh.

I'm aware that this is a spectacularly boring blog post, but in all honesty, this is the most exciting thing that has happened this week. The decorating has stopped the making, the working has stopped the decorating, the working is rolling very VERY slowly to the end of term where hopefully things should pick up again.

Oh no, I've just remembered ! I did make something! Here y'go:

I finished my apron! Again, it's a bit dodge BUT it's finished. Although it makes me talk funny - every time I think about it I think 'Ooh, I maka da apran' - why would that be? I don't even think people anywhere speak like that. I think I might have slipped into some kind of dimension of mentalness. Maybe it's the paint fumes.

Right chaps, I'm off to paint my nails for work the morra (old Scottish phrase meaning : tomorrow. Add it to you collection, if you like!). Only four days left until summer holidays, Kah-CHING!

S'laters!

A Well-Spent Jubilee Weekend

The Jubilee weekend has been lovely, and I've used my time very, very wisely (<---- not true). I finally bit the bullet and got a proper pair of running shoes and took them for a spin tonight - they worked well, but so they should for the money I spent on them. It is soul destroying having to buy shoes you don't even like when you could have spent them money on shoes you would really, really have liked...BUT no more shin-splints, so that's a good thing. Have you ever bought running shoes? It's mortifying, they make you go on a treadmill to 'try them out' (WRONG, it's so they can laugh at you) although the nice man serving me didn't ask me to do that, I think because of the mournful look I gave the treadmill when he pointed at it. Or maybe it was because I shook my fist at it, I dunno. Either way, I came out with a horrible shiny pair of stupid-face running shoes and no more leg cramps.

I got another very exciting bundle through in the post: CRUSHED WALNUT SHELLS to make pin cushions AND they sharpen your pins too! Isn't that cool?

ANSWER: No actually, not cool at all. The stupid crushed stupid walnut shells went EVERYWHERE, and it turns out you need a LOT of walnut shells to fill a bird-shaped pin cushions AND it's really difficult to get it so stuffed that it feels nice so MINE feels like a half-empty bean bag. Not happy, not happy one little bit. Very furious actually, because I had to hoover my sewing room and I hate hoovering. But then I did something nice:

It's the first of my vintage pinnies, after my dressmaking lesson from Len. The binding should actually be lace but lace is a whole lot of trouble, and I said to Husband, Sister, Len, Roy, the big cat, the stupid cat, myself and the lady in the co-op: Why make it hard for yourself? And they all agreed, stick with the binding. So I did. I was in two minds whether or not to tidy up a bit before I took this picture, but then I thought nah, it looks rustic, plus it's very bohemian to be a total mink. I still have to gather the top (of the apron) and put the band on, and do the ties BUT it's nearly there. It's lovely to make aprons, I would highly recommend it. Today I also dug my front garden and planted loads of Hydrangeas (I think my new favourite flower) and Lavender (I think my new favourite smell) and I am pleased with the finished product:

 It'll look just peachy when they all grow a bit. I've also got a heap of sweet peas growing up one end of the garden but my neighbour was outside and I didn't want him thinking I was taking pictures of him (or, now that I think about it, my garden. It's a bit strange to take pictures of your garden isn't it?) This was not a relaxing afternoon's work by the way. First, the garden was absolutely COATED in weeds. Imagine all the weeds you've ever seen in your whole life. Now imagine that they are heading to the Jubilee celebrations in London with ninety-million of their closest friends. Now times that by eight-four, and THAT'S how bad my garden was. Phew, that's hard maths isn't it? I should have just taken a before picture. Never mind.

Second in the not-relaxing list:  I had to keep bending over....and I was wearing a tunic and leggings....and two wee boys passed sniggering....and I'm CERTAIN they were laughing at my bumbaleerie. That thought haunted me all afternoon.

Third: I hate spiders. I hate them with the fire of a thousand splendid suns. And they know it. Every time I venture outside they prick up their ears (?), gather a lynch mob and scuttle out going 'GET HER, GET THE CURLY ONE, GET HER!'and I have to run away shrieking.

But today, I have a message for them.

GOOD LUCK GETTING ME NOW STUPID-FACE SPIDERS, COZ ONE HAS NEW RUNNING SNEAKS!

Bursts of Creativity!

I've got a very large fabric stash, which is magnificent, but probably not the best way to get good at this making lark. Today I decided that I was GETTING GOOD at something...but I didn't want to use any of the wonderful fabric that makes up my stash. So I went to a cheapo fabric shop near Bumbaleerie Mansions and set about merrily chopping up a vintage apron pattern, pinning it to my cheapski (but still nice) fabric and sewing happily into the evening. I didn't finish it, but I got pretty far:

That's my kitchen. Here's some things that are good about this apron:

 - I got to practice cutting out patterns
 - I got to have another go at bias binding, which didn't work so well last time I tried it
 - It fits me

Here's some less good things about this apron:

 - I cut the fabric wrong and ran out, so the bodice part is one-sided (it should be double-sided)
 - I'm fairly certain I did the bias binding wrong
 - It fits me, but it's supposed to be for my friend, who is smaller than me. So it's actually too big.

But it looks better than my first attempt, which is proper dodge:

Those are my hands. I made that binding, which is why it looks mank. I didn't have a clue how to do it, BUT I still tried so I should definitely get some points for that. I also cut that fabric wrong, so what should look like romantic bird-and-butterfly print actually looks like some horrible, twisted headless-monster-bird freak show.

This week I learned how to make these cool bows, from a brilliant tutorial you can find at 'How About Orange'. It's amazingly easy, and you can make them out of old magazine pages which is MAGNIFISAUR if you are like me (i.e weird) and don't like to throw anything away.

I've started a new tea cosy, but it's getting ripped. I think the pattern is dodgy, I've been knitting for ages, and am fairly good at most patters but I've never been able to make sense of this one.I thought I'd give it another bash last night but it didn't turn out well, so I went in a sulk and flung it over to the other side of the couch. It's still there, mocking me for being a quitter.

That's my dress, legs, baffies, bag and bottle of water. Baffies is a Scottish word ( I think?) for slippers, and it's one of my favourite words EVAH. I am sitting on our leather couch and Husband was on the other one which is called........the cuddler! Isn't that a lovely name for a couch? And it's amazeballs, it's huge and squashy and just big enough for two cuddlers. Husband hates sitting on it with me though because I fidget every two minutes and insist on going on the inside, so he has to get up ALL THE TIME to bring me stuff, such as cheese, knitting, my phone, scissors, something to amuse me, a bouncy ball, some juice.......oooh, ANYTHING! Here's Husband on the cuddler:

He is WELL comfy, I think you'll agree.

P.S. If you look closely at this picture you can see my knitting pin poking out sinisterly from the bottom of the picture. Husband clearly has no idea it's there MWAH HA HA HAHAHAHA!

MyFriendsNephewsQuilt

MyFriendsNephewsQuilt is finished! Here it is, in all its glory:

 It started life as this:

and then, as you know, I changed my mind about the starry one and replaced it with more red. I cut out a pile of 4x4 inch squares and moved them all around until I was happy with the layout. This took AGES, ages and ages because I wanted to get it just right. I asked Husband if he preferred the stripes better next to the planes or the spots. He said 'Hrgfyfy', which I took to mean 'Everything you do is wonderful! You're the light of my life! You're a creative GENIUS!' It is much nicer if I change what husband says as he's saying it. So, if he says 'I've been painting the shed and I think with a bit of careful planning, we could put some guttering around the outside to stop the water leaking in', I hear 'Look! A RAINBOW!' so I just look for a rainbow until he's finished talking. He does the same to me, whenever I say 'Husband! I've decided that the best way to create bias binding is to gently iron the folds in place, and then and only then, go MENTAL with the iron to get the creases sharpy sharpy sharp sharp. Good idea heyhey?!' he hears 'My dear, I was researching interest rates online and I think that we could seriously reduce how much we pay per month on the mortgage. C'mere, I've drawn up a spreadsheet and pie chart to fully illustrate this information'. Marriage is all about communication.

Anyway, after the squares were cut and laid out the way I wanted them, I stitched them in rows:

 and then stitched the rows together:

then I put a floating boarder on:

then the outer boarder. Then I pinned it, which I always think it the dangerous-looking part of quilting. It looks a bit mental:

then quilted it in diagonal lines. THEN put the edging on, then cut away all the loose threads and voila! Done! I really hope the nephew in the name 'myfriendsnephewsquilt' likes it, and WRECKS it. I like the idea that he will eventually show it to his grandchildren and it'll be all wrecked and mank because he loved it so much when he was wee.

*wipes away a tear* So that's myfriendsnephewsquilt, and it is DONE! So Eilidhbelle, I hear you ask, what's next in the pipeline? What creative sparks are tearing through the ol' cranium at the mo? Haha! you'll just have to wait and see! But I will say THIS:  I'm waiting for another package....

I also had my first dressmaking lesson this week, thanks to Len Goodman* and treated myself to a proper pair of fabric scissors. So my very first apron is underway and I'll be blogging about it once it's finished. I really love it, I think it might turn into another addiction. Probably not addicted to enough stuff anyway, in my opinion. Husband just read this over my shoulder and laughed out loud. We've been watching a programme called Britain's Worst Hoarders about people who keep everything, piles and piles and masses of STUFF and just have little tunnels in their house through it all. And Husband and I agreed that I would DEFINITELY be one of them, if given free reign. I keep everything and I love STUFF. We've been drinking a lot of the new Innocent fruit juice recently and the bottles are very cool, and I have to force myself to put them in with the recycling. Because, Husband says, what would you ever do with fifteen empty juice bottles? And I nod miserably and put them in the bin, but really I'm thinking 'But I could build a RAFT! I could tie them together and float somewhere! I could fill them with water and put flowers in them! My home is not complete without minging empty juice bottles filled with gradually decomposing flowers! Wouldn't that be lovely?!'

I love the Royal Mail (sometimes)

I don't want to give the impression that I'm always buying stuff, but it just so happens that recently I've gone flippin' mental with Paypal and bought ALL THE THINGS! Brace yourself.

Are you braced?

Feast your eyes on THIS:

You tell me if that is not the most beautiful fabric you have ever seen in your entire trouble and strife! Isn't it wonderful?! It's a Michael Miller what I bought from Etsy, and it is going to maybe bayby turn into one of these bad boys:

also from Etsy. It probably won't though, I think that fabric is too nice to cut. Is it just me who has this problem? Anyhoo, I've never made anything from a proper pattern before, but Len Goodman (my mum) (not her real name (obviously), see explanation below*) said she'd show me. Len is a proper maker - she's made loads of stuff and most weddings in the entire, gigantic extended Bumbaleerie family have at least one Len Goodman original on show, usually a bridesmaid dress.

*Len Goodman's real name is Eileen, but she gets called Leenie. I started calling my parents by their first names for a hilarious laugh but it turns out that it's really difficult to go back once you've started doing that.I was texting her a rude picture one day and predictive text changed 'Leen' to 'Len'. And I was quite literally over the moon to have a new nickname for her. (ASIDE: I thought I'd invented the name myself but it turns out he's some kind of dancing judge. Whod've thunkit?)

Similarly, we were playing that game with my Dad when you work out your 'adult entertainment name' by putting your first pet's name with your mother's maiden name. My sister introduced my parents to this game and said it was to get their 'stage name' but I put them right as I am the daughter that DOESN'T lie to them, and that makes me their FAVOURITE. Turns out my dad's first dog was called..........wait for it........ ROY! ROY PRATT! True story. So he gets called Roy now, which I think you'll agree is a marvellous name.

People say I must be unbearable to live with, but I'm not sure why.

Anyway, anyway, anyway. One last parcel that I've been waiting AGES and AGES for is this:

Stamps! Stamps that I am turning into artwork! OoooooooOOOooooooh! I do like a good stamp.


And that's all today's news. Glad to say Farewell to Monday though. Why is it ALWAYS Monday and NEVER Friday? Someone should look into that.

Sunshine!

Today, Scotland has been lovely! There really is nowhere nicer to be than Scotland in the sunshine. It was so nice that I took my makey materials outside:

And I made a whole heap of stuff! I made a neck cushion, to send away for injured troops:

You can find more information on this here. I also made this flower, all by myself!

All right, FINE, my sister had to give me a step-by-step-by-back-a-step-by-back-again read through on how to do it. My sister is truly a magnificent person, although she's a bit annoying. Here is a list of things she does that are annoying:

- she grows her eyelashes really long. 

- she has lovely long, thick blonde hair and she is a very slim beautiful person, the polar opposite of me (I'm a curly brunette, who could at best be described as dumpy)

- she is good at jewellery making. Her blog can be found here, go and say hello

- she's doing FORENSIC BIOLOGY at uni, and she's very clever.

- she's an exceptionally patient person. As proved by this conversation we had recently:

Me: Teach me how to make that flower.

Her: OK. *hands me wool and a hook*. Right, first you make a slip loop...

Me: WHAT'S A SLIP LOOP?!

Her: I'll show you. *she shows me*

Me: I CAN'T DO IT! I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO IT! I'M RUBBISH AT EVERYTHING!!!!

Her: No! You can do it! Come on!!

Me: *suddenly motivated because she's so good at motivating folk* Ok-doke, maybe I CAN do it!

Her: Right. Right, you're doing really well . It's just...you're not really making a loop....but it still looks nice, what you're doing!

Me: *throwing the whole lot across the room* This is RUBBISH! I HATE THIS!

Her: No, it's fine, I'll start it for you...

Me: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO LEARN IT ANYMORE! DON'T SPEAK TO ME!

(I should point out that she recently turned twenty, and I'm six and a half years older than her but I'll leave the maths to you. In my defense, I'm only thirteen in my head.)

Anyway, after a lot of gentle guidance (her) and stomping about (me), I finally learned! Or rather, she finally taught me! She's wonderful, even if she does smell.

Right, parcels! Oh, so many lovely parcels! First, fabric for myfriendsnephewsquilt, which I love very much. It's a combination of cloud9 and Michael Miller, which is the best combination in the world if you ask me:

although after a lot of deliberation, I decided not to use the starry one. Instead I ordered more red and I am happy with the way it's all coming together. I got a very, very exciting other package too:

tied up with string and everything! And inside it was:

Her Maj!! Well, a jelly mold of her head, for the Jubilee. Isn't it WONDERFUL? Husband was so thrilled* by this, he had to lie down for several minutes** before coming downstairs to shake my hand*** and thank me profusely**** for introducing such a magnificent item into our house******

* frightened
** run upstairs to check the joint account, to see how much I'd paid
*** yell 'you paid TEN SCOTTISH YEN FOR THIS?!'
**** shake his head in disbelief
***** 'bringing even more junk in here' sez he, which I found a tad unkind. Luckily, I was too busy pretending to be Betty the Second to pay attention to him properly.

And that's this week! Whatever will arrive in the post next week...?