Rage, RAAAGE

Afternoon lads.

C'mere, is this the most annoying thing in the entire UNIVERSE?

That's from the same ball of wool. How annoying is that? It doesn't even match! It's supposed to be a boy's jumper, but the one on the right is CLEARLY for a lady baby! Oh, raging. Then I started the sleeve, thinking 'Oh, it'll all pull together' but NON!

L'sleeve is the same as the back! The front is an anomaly! Oh,  rage, fellas, rage like you've never seen. Husband came home for his lunch (leaving his manky shoes on my clean kitchen floor, but that's another story) and I waved it under his nose.
'Look!' I sez, 'Look at this! I've been sold a dodgy ball of wool!' Husband peered at it.
'Yes.' He said.
I paused.
'What do you mean, 'Yes'? Can you even see how it's dodgy?'
Husband sighed. 'No' he admitted.
'Well, it is. There must be someone we can phone about this MASSIVE ISSUE. Do you know how many hours I've spent on this? MANY! MANY HOURS! And look at it!'
Husband nodded mildly and took his sarnie into the living room.
'Well, let's hope it doesn't happen with YOUR JUMPER!' I yelled. 'You'll have the back of a gentleman wtith a LADY FRONT!'
 I sense he does not think it's a big a problem as I do.

But now I'm going to have to re-knit the entire front. How annoying is that? It's not even for anyone, I was just knitting for the sakes so I'm not even motivated to do the entire front again. Furious.

Anyway, to cheer myself up, I went and got my picture taken with Daniel Craig.

Oh yes! That's really him! Sort of. It's my Christmas present from my brother (Calpol) and I LOVES it! My hair is really mank in this photo, it's CLEAN! But I couldn't be bothered styling it. I can't remember if I've said this before but having curly hair is really a full time job. There should be some kind of government grant for the afflicted, in my opinion.. Here's a better photo:

Note his fetching scarf that I knitted for him. Oh Daniel. You're lovely, even if you do look A LOT like my Uncle Eric, which makes fancying you a bit awkward.

Now, the sharp-brained amongst you will remember that this is not the only life-sized cardboard cut-out that Calpol has ever bought me. NON! Here's me with Her Maj at my birthday:

Husband is really freaked out by them. He says most people don't have two cardboard cut-outs in their house, most people don't even have ONE! But I say, that's a shame for them. They should get some. They make for hilarious photo oppertunities and they are a talking point when the man comes to fit your kitchen floor three days later than he said he would.

We've done lots of work in Bumbaleerie Mansions recently lads. I think my next post will be a virtual tour of the crib....oooooooooooooooohh!

S'been a long time, fellas

Oh lads. 4th October was my last post, and I wouldn't blame you at all for totally losing interest and jogging on to another blog. But lads! I've got many, many news. Here's a good ol' list to get us started, so we all know where I've been for two whole months:


1) I got my dream job. Yes! For years and YEARS I slogged away at a job that I didn't enjoy with my full soul and FINALLY I've got the one I've always wanted. Still a hairy Librar-y BUT! One with purpose. Good times. So, just so we're clear, my job is amazeballs.

2) Mega decorating of Bumbaleerie mansions, INCLUDING a new kitchen floor what I've detailed a billion times on this very blog. But it is down, my friends, down at last and the crib is looking mega-marvy. BUT, lads, this tale is not without sorrow. Husband and I spent a great deal of time (money) on the floor and they did not turn up THRICE times. Furious was I. SO furious that I sent Husband in to shout at the 'men' and he came out all matey with them. 'NON' je thought to je-self. 'This is non happening' unt it was left to me to have a hairy fit until we'd got what wee'd (tee hee) paid for. But it's down now fellas, so all's well.

3) Em. Two months is quite a lot, isn't it? I don't seem to have filled my time very well at all. If I'm honest, I think the lack o' updating is due to a combination of not having made anything new, due to commencing my shiny new job unt my computer being broke.


But anyhoo lads, now is the season of joy and goodwill (wine), so I hope you had a Merry ole One. I forgot to post my Christmas cards, it's probably too late now. Next year I'm totally going to write a round robin, because they are sehr  hilarious. SO, here's a practice one just pour vous (as you can see, this year I've gone VERY international avec mon language)

Dear Friends,

This year began well with January, which is how every year seems to begin! We had a jolly old time at New Year with our friends, who came to the house baring (tee hee) wine and also Articulate (the Best Game in the World). Sadly, the competitive spirit overcame Husband and they left minus two friends. But hey, there's always next year!!! (Lads, I've noticed that the common trait with round robins is to use a plethora of exclamation marks, or 'the mark of the moron'. I rather like them, actually)

Valentine's Day brought Husband and I much joy. I cannot begin to describe how happy I was to unwrap 'David Hasslehoff Sings America' which my ever-frugal Husband had discovered in a bargain-bin in Asda. He was right, it's the presents that you don't think you'll need that have the biggest impact!!

I remember very little of March. Nothing, in fact. I may well have slept through it. April delivered our SECOND WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, and on it, we though about going out for dinner but had just returned from New York, so were counting pennies to buy milk. But we celebrated in our own little way - I drank heavily and Husband probably hoovered something.

May, June and July - no idea. In August I turned 27, which was GHASTLY but I'm holding it together (wine).

September, I was able to hand my notice in at my horrendous job, which filled me with a sense of freedom and good spirit (gin). And I felt TERRIBLY sad to be leaving (false) but I managed to hold myself together. Until the last day, when I fell over in my haste to leave (true story - I skinned my knees and everything).

October, I started my new place of work and everything was amazeballs again. It is very, very nice to be in a job you enjoy. Husband decided to make October the month that he started several new hobbies, including but not limited to, 'Leaving Socks in the Living Room', 'Not Putting Stuff in the Dishwasher' and 'Generally Being Annoying'. But, we are still very much in love!!!!!!!!

November was mine and Husband's TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BEING IN LOVE.  I explained to Husband that the phrase 'ten year anniversary' just SCREAMS 'diamond, pear-shaped solitaire brackets fist-sized) but he was having NONE of it. Rude.

And Christmas was marv-u-lous, mainly because of the eating. We hope the New Year finds you well, and will sign off with that most traditional of Scottish phrases:

'Lang may yer lum reek!"*

Eilidhbelle and also Husband

xxx


*May you always have coal for your fire, so your lum (chimney) is always smoking.

The One Where I Eat So Much I Get A Food Hangover

Hello Chinas!

Last night I went to Chop Chop in Edinburgh's Haymarket - if you haven't been, stop what you're doing immediately and go. It is the BAWS. I was going to take some pictures but then I didn't, because I really didn't want to be the weirdo who takes pictures in a restaurant. So, you'll just have to use your imagination! It's traditional Chinease food, so none of yer deep fried chicken junk that we are so familiar with. No! It's all hand-prepared noodles and homemade dumplings and crispy shredded potato and fluffy rice AND I ate so much that I had to lean against a pole at the train station to try and pull myself together. Total dumpling overdose, fellas, leading to what can only be described as a 'food hangover' upon waking this morning. I'm not sorry though, I would do it again right now.

I love food.

And because of that. I have been GORGING on the new Nigella series. I'm only just at the stage where I can watch Nigella and not yell I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER every time she appears on screen. I love her because she is SAUCY and I think we'd be really good friends. HOW CAN I MAKE THIS HAPPEN? I love the way she's all 'Ooooooh, just reaching up hear for this NAUGHTY SAFFRON!" - sometime I do this for Husband, until he grows weary and asks me to stop. Also, it's not the same when I lick my fingers, rake around in the cupboard, use saucy innuendo like 'oh, this pan is FILTHY *wink*' and then serve up toast. It's not the same at all.


In making news, Chinas, last week I decided to start on my 40's style dress that I talked about in this one. Total nightmare fellas, and I know exactly why. It's a combintation of 1) not knowing how to do it 2) not being patient enough to learn 3) not reading things properly AND 4) wine. So I (sort of) had the bodice finished and was cracking in to the sleeves when I realised I had sewn the sides inside out and the sleeve on the wrong side. So I gave up on that. Also, it doesn't fit me - it's too big around the bust (tee hee), arms, butt and shoulders, and too tight around the waist. Story of my LIFE chaps! And now I not only have to learn how to make it, but also how to adjust it. I might give up on it as an idea.

And to finish, here's a video of the unfriendly cat doing 'Paw and Other Paw'. I think we can agree that the quality is INCREDIBLE. Sorry that it's sideways, I'm not sure why that is the case or what I can do to fix it.  S'laters!