Sunday, 23 February 2014

Babying Around

Firstly, the Hyacinths are coming along marvellously, you can practically see them growing and they smell amazing. They're on the kitchen table, which is where I spend most of my time, and they are brilliant. 

They are a bit squinty though. 

That yellow thing in the background, that's Perfect's float because we took him swimming this week. Because I'm the most neurotic person in the world, I was really worried about him getting cold, so we splashed out (hahahaha) and got him a wetsuit. If there is anything nicer in the world than a baby in a baby wetsuit then I don't even want to know about it. He was ADORABLE, as you would expect. And, big news, he's now brilliant at sitting up. What a total, total ledge.

Oh, he is wonderful! We've been taking him to baby things recently. Baby Sensory first, which was dire - you basically sit in a circle with other people who don't want to be there while someone blows bubbles at you. You're supposed to sing along to songs but the one who was running our session didn't want to, so she put on a CD and we all mouthed along to Row, Row, Row Your Boat. My boat was not happy AT ALL. Also, Perfect HATED it and screamed with his all every time I put him on his back. I don't think they were sad to see the back of us. 

Then Husband decided he wanted to take him to a song-session baby-music thing, and I mooched along too. They made us sit in a circle (why is it always a circle? I always wear dresses and I'm constantly worrying that folk can see my breeks) and we had to sing and shake tambourines at the babes. I was fine at that bit, and was half-heartedly getting into a bit of rhythm when they...and I can hardly bear to relive this...turned the music up and we had to dance around in the circle. Oh man, it was EXCRUCIATING - have you ever seen a roomful of adults dancing around a circle of couldn't-care-less babies? Believe me, you don't even want to. Awful. And the lady taking the class was all zany and clapping and all 'let's go faster! Hold hands with the person next to you!' and I was all 'No chance pal!' It was grim. I am not the right person for this baby lark. Husband really got into it though, one of the other mums even congratulated him on his singing. Crawler. 

And that was this week. 

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Bumbaleerie Mansions

Evening all.

So I've been promising you a tour of Bumbaleerie Mansions for a while now - sadly, due to the arrival of the Perfect, the Mansions are never tidy enough to get a decent picture of. So instead, here's a wee bit at a time. Here's some things you oughter know before we get started:

1) The Crib was built in 1932.
2) It has a bomb shelter in the garden, that I would've taken a picture of today but it was snowing, and I couldn't find my shoes.
3) The people who owned it before Husband and I rescued it were bonkers. They superglued light fittings to the ceiling, shelves to the wall and floor tiles to the..em, floor. Quite, quite mad.
4) I love it with my ENTIRE FACE.
5) It has three original fireplaces in it.
6) The kitchen, where I spend most of my time, used to be the kitchen, dining room and pantry, until the Bonkertons knocked through - so the kitchen is montagonous. We're spoiled if we ever have to move though because I love the kitchen the most.
7) When we came to view it, I loved it so much that I did a wee dance in the kitchen and Mr Bonkers saw me and immediately added more Scottish bucks to the price. Husband was delighted! (False).

There's more here, if that ol' list wasn't enough.

So! Here's where I am right this very now!

This is our kitchen table, which is splendid and also ginormous. It can fit twelve people around it once it's extended, here's what happened when we bought it:

Me: Husband! That table fits twelve people around it once it's extended!
Husband: It's ginormous.
Me: And SPLENDID! We can recreate Downton!
Husband: Why do you always want to recreate Downton?

In the middle of the table is my most recent purchase - Hyacinths! I planted them today, here's hoping they survive. I seem to have this think called 'Killeverything-itus' where nothing green can live in my house. I've been given so many fecking Orchids and they last about nine seconds before sadly passing on.

FUNNY STORY I'VE JUST REMEMBERED: In Dobbies today, a man standing next to me said to his wife 'Look, they've got orchards!' and she said 'Not orchards, darling, ORCHIDS' and he said 'No, they're definitely called orchards' and she said 'no, they definitely aren't' and he wasn't having ANY OF IT. I'd just pushed my sleeves up my arms ready to get stuck in and RIGHT THIS WRONG, but Husband pulled me back and said I wasn't to get involved. They're probably still at it. Very funny and pointless, which is my favourite kind of argument with Husband.

Here's a close up of the, and I think you'll agree wholeheartedly with this, EXCELLENTLY planted Hyacinths:

Next, my second-newest kitchen purchase:

CHICKEN EGG CUPS! From the 70s, so VINTAGE CHICKEN EGG CUPS! Brilliant, although they caused a slight altercation when I bought them. I said to the lady 'I must have these, they are magnificent and a wise addition to any home, including those modelled VERY CLOSELY on Downton Abbey. How much, please?' and she said '£2.50'. There was a brief pause until I yelled 'WHIT? MARVELLOUS BARGAIN!' and grabbed the lot. Turns out, they were £2.50 each. But, as I said to Husband, shouting in a sales lady's face is practically a signed contract, so you can't just change your mind like a total mind-changer. Anyway, still worth it because they are wonderful, and not 'hideously tacky' or 'a total waste of money' OR 'literally the worst things I have ever seen'.

Lastly, here's a picture of my knittingsewingcrochetjunk stash as it is now that we had to clear out my sewing room for the Perfect:

There's so many of my favourite things on this bookcase - a photo of Perfect, right at the top, when he was seconds old. My Govencroft jugs, my tangled knitting, my sewing maching, my jelly mould of Betty. Lovely, and kept so tidy! Also, some of my least favourite things - the iron, lurking sinisterly in the foreground. Husband's unfinished jumper. Some minging rip-offy wool that I was conned into buying, and is a source of everlasting regret and anguish. I won't point it out, it makes me too angry. And I've just realised that Perfect's blanket isn't even in this picture but if it WAS, if I was tidier and it WAS here, instead of on the couch in the living room, I could gracefully and beautifully link into the next picture, which is progress on the ripple blanket, but since it isn't there, I'll just have to do it in a CLUMPY WAY:

Here's how I'm getting on with the ripples! At this rate, he should have it in time for his own children.

Pip pip!

Sunday, 2 February 2014

What I Did at the Weekend

Evenin' guv'nors.

Lads, for the first time in LITERALLY A HUNDRED YEARS, Husband had a whole weekend off. This is a very, very rare occurrence for us, so we made the most of it yesterday by doing nothing until 3pm, then going out to buy some new binbags for Perfect's nappy bin.

So today, we put our feet down with firm hands and DID SOMETHING. And we have had such a fantastic day, it's been so, so nice.

We went out for Dobbie's Garden Centre in Livingstone. It was BRILLIANT! You get more breakfast than you can shake a hairy stick at for like, four Scottish rubles and it's braw (if it helps you, like it helped me, don't think about how they can charge £1.90 for tea, but only £3.99 for six different types of meat because it really does taste good). We decided on Dobbies because Perfect loves the fish, especially those giant gold-fishy looking ones with the brains.

We then went outside to look at the chickens. Oh, fellas, how I would love chickens! I'd love to watch them run around, and me and Perfect could feed them, and sit in the garden reading stories while the chickens pecked at our feet. Oh! Brilliant. Unfortunately, Husband is extremely short-sighted on the chicken front, and point-blank refuses to engage in conversations entitled 'Why We Need Chickens and an Eggloo' (that's what the chicken huts are called, is that not the most wonderful thing you've ever heard? I love a good pun).

Anyway, none of that matters because it turns out, Livingstone don't stock chickens. So we went over to the shops instead.

Quick aside chums, but recently I've subscribed to Bloglovin' which has saved me many, many seconds of time finding new blogs. One of them (and I know I'm so late to this) is Caroline Hiron's blog on Skincare (available here but I'm not taking responsibility for you going over there) - honesty, that woman knows her stuff. Sooooooo in a never-ending attempt to turn myself into a grown-up, I've grasped the opportunity to buy more skin junk. This'll surprise you, but I'm extremely suggestible to new skin stuff and makeup, and chickens - someone only has to wave a pot under my nose and go 'this'll make you thinner, funnier, brighter and more lady-full' and I'm on it like a car bonnet. So today, I bought this:

I haven't used it yet, but I'm expecting it to change my life! And my face. I'll let you know.

Anyhoo, we came home from the shops and had a lovely cup of tea. Aw! And then I made hummous! What?! I did! After seeing a recipe on Eating With My Fingers, another wonderful blog, very sad but very funny. Here's an arty photo (ha!) of the twenty-million chickpeas I had to shell.

and then, after a bit of kitchen magic, they turned into this:

Yum yum yum! It's so delicious and easy, honestly, give it a go. This is the one with Tahini, but there's an even easier recipe with peanut butter. If you try that one, please let me know how you got on! Anyway, it's so good that I've been digging into it all afternoon. Oh, skinny-ness! Why are we never to be friends? The only downside, and it's a very little downside, is the recipe makes enough to feed a thousand people, so we're going to be eating a lot of it over the next few days. But! It's probably very healthy.

So, I started a square-a-day blanket for Perfect, as you know, which was going ok-ish. Then someone on facebook linked to Attic24 (I know I'm so late to this too) and I was hooked! I'm SO FUNNY today, it's like I'm on FIRE! But really, she's awesome. So, I've changed my mind, decided not to fret about the wasted hours spent on the sqaure-a-day, and I'm doing a ripple instead. But guess what? I love it!

It's handy doing crochet because it's so portable. It's only one hook, one ball at a time, and the pattern is stored in my mega-portable brain. It's so easy too, once I got the hang of it, and it's very soothing to do the same thing over and over. Like cleaning the kitchen! (False, that was a wee dig at Husband, who seems to not notice junk lying about in the kitchen. Sorry for bringing marital discord over here, he really is the jewel of my face, apart from Perfect). This blanket is quite wide though, so it takes a wee while to do a row, maybe forty minutes? But I'm not a very quick crochet-er yet.

So that's me! A lovely day doing things I love, with the people I love most in the world.

Oh! It got a bit soppy at the end there for a minute. I think it's passed now though.