Babying Around

Firstly, the Hyacinths are coming along marvellously, you can practically see them growing and they smell amazing. They're on the kitchen table, which is where I spend most of my time, and they are brilliant. 

They are a bit squinty though. 

That yellow thing in the background, that's Perfect's float because we took him swimming this week. Because I'm the most neurotic person in the world, I was really worried about him getting cold, so we splashed out (hahahaha) and got him a wetsuit. If there is anything nicer in the world than a baby in a baby wetsuit then I don't even want to know about it. He was ADORABLE, as you would expect. And, big news, he's now brilliant at sitting up. What a total, total ledge.

Oh, he is wonderful! We've been taking him to baby things recently. Baby Sensory first, which was dire - you basically sit in a circle with other people who don't want to be there while someone blows bubbles at you. You're supposed to sing along to songs but the one who was running our session didn't want to, so she put on a CD and we all mouthed along to Row, Row, Row Your Boat. My boat was not happy AT ALL. Also, Perfect HATED it and screamed with his all every time I put him on his back. I don't think they were sad to see the back of us. 

Then Husband decided he wanted to take him to a song-session baby-music thing, and I mooched along too. They made us sit in a circle (why is it always a circle? I always wear dresses and I'm constantly worrying that folk can see my breeks) and we had to sing and shake tambourines at the babes. I was fine at that bit, and was half-heartedly getting into a bit of rhythm when they...and I can hardly bear to relive this...turned the music up and we had to dance around in the circle. Oh man, it was EXCRUCIATING - have you ever seen a roomful of adults dancing around a circle of couldn't-care-less babies? Believe me, you don't even want to. Awful. And the lady taking the class was all zany and clapping and all 'let's go faster! Hold hands with the person next to you!' and I was all 'No chance pal!' It was grim. I am not the right person for this baby lark. Husband really got into it though, one of the other mums even congratulated him on his singing. Crawler. 

And that was this week. 

S'been a long time, fellas

Oh lads. 4th October was my last post, and I wouldn't blame you at all for totally losing interest and jogging on to another blog. But lads! I've got many, many news. Here's a good ol' list to get us started, so we all know where I've been for two whole months:


1) I got my dream job. Yes! For years and YEARS I slogged away at a job that I didn't enjoy with my full soul and FINALLY I've got the one I've always wanted. Still a hairy Librar-y BUT! One with purpose. Good times. So, just so we're clear, my job is amazeballs.

2) Mega decorating of Bumbaleerie mansions, INCLUDING a new kitchen floor what I've detailed a billion times on this very blog. But it is down, my friends, down at last and the crib is looking mega-marvy. BUT, lads, this tale is not without sorrow. Husband and I spent a great deal of time (money) on the floor and they did not turn up THRICE times. Furious was I. SO furious that I sent Husband in to shout at the 'men' and he came out all matey with them. 'NON' je thought to je-self. 'This is non happening' unt it was left to me to have a hairy fit until we'd got what wee'd (tee hee) paid for. But it's down now fellas, so all's well.

3) Em. Two months is quite a lot, isn't it? I don't seem to have filled my time very well at all. If I'm honest, I think the lack o' updating is due to a combination of not having made anything new, due to commencing my shiny new job unt my computer being broke.


But anyhoo lads, now is the season of joy and goodwill (wine), so I hope you had a Merry ole One. I forgot to post my Christmas cards, it's probably too late now. Next year I'm totally going to write a round robin, because they are sehr  hilarious. SO, here's a practice one just pour vous (as you can see, this year I've gone VERY international avec mon language)

Dear Friends,

This year began well with January, which is how every year seems to begin! We had a jolly old time at New Year with our friends, who came to the house baring (tee hee) wine and also Articulate (the Best Game in the World). Sadly, the competitive spirit overcame Husband and they left minus two friends. But hey, there's always next year!!! (Lads, I've noticed that the common trait with round robins is to use a plethora of exclamation marks, or 'the mark of the moron'. I rather like them, actually)

Valentine's Day brought Husband and I much joy. I cannot begin to describe how happy I was to unwrap 'David Hasslehoff Sings America' which my ever-frugal Husband had discovered in a bargain-bin in Asda. He was right, it's the presents that you don't think you'll need that have the biggest impact!!

I remember very little of March. Nothing, in fact. I may well have slept through it. April delivered our SECOND WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, and on it, we though about going out for dinner but had just returned from New York, so were counting pennies to buy milk. But we celebrated in our own little way - I drank heavily and Husband probably hoovered something.

May, June and July - no idea. In August I turned 27, which was GHASTLY but I'm holding it together (wine).

September, I was able to hand my notice in at my horrendous job, which filled me with a sense of freedom and good spirit (gin). And I felt TERRIBLY sad to be leaving (false) but I managed to hold myself together. Until the last day, when I fell over in my haste to leave (true story - I skinned my knees and everything).

October, I started my new place of work and everything was amazeballs again. It is very, very nice to be in a job you enjoy. Husband decided to make October the month that he started several new hobbies, including but not limited to, 'Leaving Socks in the Living Room', 'Not Putting Stuff in the Dishwasher' and 'Generally Being Annoying'. But, we are still very much in love!!!!!!!!

November was mine and Husband's TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BEING IN LOVE.  I explained to Husband that the phrase 'ten year anniversary' just SCREAMS 'diamond, pear-shaped solitaire brackets fist-sized) but he was having NONE of it. Rude.

And Christmas was marv-u-lous, mainly because of the eating. We hope the New Year finds you well, and will sign off with that most traditional of Scottish phrases:

'Lang may yer lum reek!"*

Eilidhbelle and also Husband

xxx


*May you always have coal for your fire, so your lum (chimney) is always smoking.

It's fun to shop at the E.B.A.Y

Just one word, fellas: HOT PINK TREWS! Yaaass!

So for ages and ages I was all 'I'd really like a pair of hot pink kegs but I'm worried I'll look like a tool' and Husband always nodded and said 'Yes, that's absolutely what you would look like.' And we agreed, and did a special handshake and everything. So, you can imagine Husband's delight when he came home and I was wearing THESE bad boys! 'WHAT. AM. THOSE?!' he shrieked manfully. Husband's grammar tends to desert him when he's surprised. 'THESE AM MY NEW KEGS!' I yelled back in ecstatic delight. 'I LOVE THEM WITH MY ENTIRE FACE! Plus, I am thinking that hot pink is now a neutral because these fellas go with everything!' Husband was not as thrilled as you would expect, and started going on about money and other irrelevant whitterings so I just thought about my new trews until he was done. And then I said:

'I Got Them On Ebay!'

I Got Them (It) on Ebay, or as it shall now be known IGTOE (partly for speed, partly for megalolz) is a phrase that Husband hears a lot from me. It is normally in response to the question 'How much was (were) that (those) item (s)?' and tends to be followed by 'That's because no-one in their right mind would buy that (those) from an actual shop' but he is WRONG and also FALSE because I am totally the last person on this EARTH to start wearing brightly-coloured leg garments and I told him that and he said 'right then'. So I won.

Until we had this conversation:

Me: Husband, I'm going to invest in some rubber footwear. Rubber footwear is useful for many reasons and I have prepared a brief powerpoint presentation to highlight these reasons.

Husband: *wearily* Can you not just buy them without telling me the reasons?

Me: Probably, but I've prepared the powerpoint and everything now so.....

Husband: Can you summerise the reasons?

Me: If y'like. ONE - They are waterproof, so extremely handy for gardening and also living in Scotland. TWO - They are comfortable, allowing me to wear them with anything, to any occasion. THREE -  even though they come in a variety of colours, I have chosen a neutral pair because I am sensible.

Husband: You are a grown woman, buy whatever shoes you like with the money you work very hard to earn (Ha! Husband would never say this, he only says things like 'oh, we have to pool our money to pay the mortgage or we'll be homeless' and other such trivialities)

Anyway, you can't say he wasn't warned. I put a lot of effort and research into this AND STILL Husband was less than thrilled when I came home with:

Vivienne Westwood Melissa Lady Dragons, which are made from bubblegum scented rubber. You tell me, YOU TELL ME, that these are not THE MOST amazing shoes you have ever seen with your own two een (EEN: A Scottish word meaning 'eye' or 'eyes' for those of you who are still developing their Scottish lexicon).

Husband said 'WHAT. THE. RUDE WORD. ARE THEM?' and I said 'I told you I was buying them! We agreed! They're SENSIBLE!' and he said 'How much?' and I said 'IGTOE' and he said 'Oh, right. I love them, you made totally the correct decision. Well done!' (FALSE)

Anyway, he's been proved wrong because I have worn them several times. And it has rained non-stop in Scotvegas for the last twenty years so it's handy to have shoes you can wipe dry. But the good thing about all the rain is: the garden is SPLENDID! So yesterday I donned my sensible rubber footwear and went out and picked a pile of these:

Sweet peas. Oh, nice!

Bursts of Creativity!

I've got a very large fabric stash, which is magnificent, but probably not the best way to get good at this making lark. Today I decided that I was GETTING GOOD at something...but I didn't want to use any of the wonderful fabric that makes up my stash. So I went to a cheapo fabric shop near Bumbaleerie Mansions and set about merrily chopping up a vintage apron pattern, pinning it to my cheapski (but still nice) fabric and sewing happily into the evening. I didn't finish it, but I got pretty far:

That's my kitchen. Here's some things that are good about this apron:

 - I got to practice cutting out patterns
 - I got to have another go at bias binding, which didn't work so well last time I tried it
 - It fits me

Here's some less good things about this apron:

 - I cut the fabric wrong and ran out, so the bodice part is one-sided (it should be double-sided)
 - I'm fairly certain I did the bias binding wrong
 - It fits me, but it's supposed to be for my friend, who is smaller than me. So it's actually too big.

But it looks better than my first attempt, which is proper dodge:

Those are my hands. I made that binding, which is why it looks mank. I didn't have a clue how to do it, BUT I still tried so I should definitely get some points for that. I also cut that fabric wrong, so what should look like romantic bird-and-butterfly print actually looks like some horrible, twisted headless-monster-bird freak show.

This week I learned how to make these cool bows, from a brilliant tutorial you can find at 'How About Orange'. It's amazingly easy, and you can make them out of old magazine pages which is MAGNIFISAUR if you are like me (i.e weird) and don't like to throw anything away.

I've started a new tea cosy, but it's getting ripped. I think the pattern is dodgy, I've been knitting for ages, and am fairly good at most patters but I've never been able to make sense of this one.I thought I'd give it another bash last night but it didn't turn out well, so I went in a sulk and flung it over to the other side of the couch. It's still there, mocking me for being a quitter.

That's my dress, legs, baffies, bag and bottle of water. Baffies is a Scottish word ( I think?) for slippers, and it's one of my favourite words EVAH. I am sitting on our leather couch and Husband was on the other one which is called........the cuddler! Isn't that a lovely name for a couch? And it's amazeballs, it's huge and squashy and just big enough for two cuddlers. Husband hates sitting on it with me though because I fidget every two minutes and insist on going on the inside, so he has to get up ALL THE TIME to bring me stuff, such as cheese, knitting, my phone, scissors, something to amuse me, a bouncy ball, some juice.......oooh, ANYTHING! Here's Husband on the cuddler:

He is WELL comfy, I think you'll agree.

P.S. If you look closely at this picture you can see my knitting pin poking out sinisterly from the bottom of the picture. Husband clearly has no idea it's there MWAH HA HA HAHAHAHA!