Tuesday, 20 March 2012

The Inner Circle of Hell

Here are some facts about my handbag:

1. I paid a lot of money for this handbag, at a time when I had no money at all. I bought it thinking, it'll go with everything and I'll take very good care of it. I have not done so.

2. The above picture was taken yesterday. It has got worse since yesterday.

3. I use my bag to carry around a number of important things. My diary, for example, which I cannot leave the house without. Even though I never actually write anything in it. It also has my purse, a Radley one that Husband bought for me for Christmas two years ago. Even though he bought it two years ago, the other day I found a receipt in it from 2007 (for wine and kettle chips, must've been a good night).

4. I carry perfume in my bag. The perfume leaked in my bag several months ago and I haven't cleaned it up yet. It smells rank, and every time I pick it up I think of prostitutes. EVERY TIME.

5. I try to always have mints with me, Smints being my mint of choice. But sometimes Smints are difficult to get hold of. In fact, I know of only one garage in my area that sells them. So sometimes I have to settle for inferior mints. Such as Extra mints, which not only taste minging, are also far too big for the average human mouth. Perhaps they are for horses, I don't know. They also come in inferior packaging. So they also burst in my bag. I still eat them but now they taste like perfume.

6. I always have pens in my bag. The pens always leak. My perfumey mints are now tainted with what looks like blood.

7. So that leaves the rest of the junk. An apple (perfumey, obviously), some apricots, a bottle of diet coke (which doesn't mix well with apricots, as I discovered today), a sample of fabric that I got when I ordered my new couch a year ago (actually, hefting this around in my Bermuda-Triangle bag has been really handy when picking wallpaper and carpets etc), a shopping list from a while ago:

...a lip balm that tastes horrible so I never use it, my car keys with the keyring broken off, some loose change and some antihistamine tablets (stained pink and reeking of perfume).

8. The above scenario drives me proper MENTAL. The one thing I hate most in the world is my time being wasted. I waste time raking about in my bag looking for keys/mints/money/Lord Lucan EVERY SINGLE DAY. I think it'll be what kills me. I will have a heart attack with my arm in my bag, standing outside my house, with the phone ringing inside the house and the stupid cat doing a figure of eight around my ankles. So maybe I should tidy it out.

Monday, 19 March 2012


Oh, stupid Mondays! But it is over now, and that's something we can all be thankful for. I'm not really capable of writing in sentences tonight so here's a transcript:

Me: Right. Tonight I will not be wasting the time.

Husband: Right.

Me: No. The time for time wasting has passed.

Husband: Ok then.

Me: So tonight, the only night I have free this week, I will be a) tidying out my handbag
b) finishing at least one tea cosy c) updating the blog d) making dinner....

Husband: *hopefully* Can we have McDonalds for dinner?

Me:  No. e) planning what we're doing with the front garden f)...

Husband: *interrupting again* what's for dinner?

Me: Stir-fry

Husband: *makes sick noises*

Me: *furiously glares through narrowed eyes*

Husband: *pauses*

Husband: *slopes off to the living room to hide behind the couch*

Me: *dinner making noises*

 Husband and I eat dinner in silence.

Me: *knitting noises*

Husband: Do you want me to iron your work stuff?

Me: *remembering how much I hate ironing and resolving to love the husband no matter what so long as he keeps ironing my work stuff so I don't have to* YES!

Me: *beams at husband*

Me: *wastes time all evening, not finishing any of the things but starting lots of the new things* 

I am considering this evening time well spent. 

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

I have eaten too much

Tonight for dinner I made Jamie Oliver's chicken satays from the 30 Minute Meals cookbook, which, by the way, I would totally recommend. Everything I have made from it is lovely:
Yum yum. I'm too full now though, and keep catching sight of my stomach and getting a fright. Oct well.And today was the first time I thought, I may well have an addiction to buying fabric:
oh, but it's so lovely! It is going to turn into secret quilt number two, since I changed my mind about the original secret-fabric-for-secret-quilt-number-two.

Right! My to do list! Well, I ate breakfast every day apart from Friday, when I really couldn't face it. I didn't take all my library books back. I didn't finish secret quilt number one, although I would've done if I hadn't run out of fabric. It's NEARLY finished. Em, I can't remember what else was on my list. I didn't start secret quilt number two, for reasons outlined above. So! My new to-do list:

1. Finish stupid secret quilt number one
2. Take back my stupid library books
3. Eat breakfast every day
4. Phone that woman I have to phone at stupid work.
5. Finish the two (TWO!) tea cosies I started
6. Get good at making coasters ( I think that was on my original list, actually)

Onwards and upwards, old beans!

Sunday, 11 March 2012

A day of doing

Today has been a really lovely day in the Bumbaleerie crib. I've done lots of good things today. First the boring ones:
1. Brushed, hoovered and washed the kitchen floor
2. Washed the back step
3. Washed a lot of clothes
4. Hung up a lot of clothes (I don't iron. I actually can't do it. When I have to iron fabric for quilting I could weep)
5. Made dinner (chilli), and shared a beer with Mr. Bumbaleerie. Here's a picture of after-dinner:
Yum yum. Now some less boring things:

1. I have almost finished secret quilt. The stitching is well dodgy but I'm a firm believer that home-made things should look a bit dodgy, otherwise you may as well buy them. I sent a picture of the dodgy quilting to my sister and she says just to leave it. And she'd know, she's a scientist and likes everything PERFECT. So her word is good enough for me.
2. I organised my fabric pile, which had been sitting on the table pictured above for the thick-end of a fortnight. I wish that was an exaggeration, but it's not.
3. I finished a tea cosy, which was supposed to be going on ebay, but I don't think it's up to scratch. It needs to be bigger, maybe.
4. I drank a bottle of diet coke. Now! I know that doesn't sound like much but I've been trying to collect the empties to make something.
Any ideas? I'm thinking I might just fill them with water and a bit of food colouring, then put flowers in them. If I ever get round to doing that, I'll post a picture.

And now! I have to start the weekly fight with my eyebrows, to train them into something half-decent for work tomorrow. I might paint my nails too...oct. I can't be bothered. You have to sit for ages and AGES and when you normally spend your evenings divving about with wool as I do, it's a challenge to sit for AGES without doing anything.

Happy Sunday all, and I hope your Monday isn't too grim.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

The day of the fruit loops

Today, everyone I have spoken to has been a total fruit loop. But then I came home, so that was nice. Tonight has been my first evening in my house for ages and let me tell you.... I have enjoyed it. Have you been watching Prisoners' Wives?  I just loved it, especially Iain Glen - which my husband was thrilled about. But he is really foxy. Anyway.

Here are some things I really like. First, 'Doreen' by Frank Zappa, which I am listening to right now. Next, something I look at every day:
Cushions I made from Michael Miller fabric that I just LOVED, one of those fabrics that's too nice to cut. Some new knitting:

using the wool that I will no longer be using for the granny square blanket. Knitting with three strands! I live life on the edge. Here are the dodgy squares I wrote about before:
Not good. Also, here is a picture of the stupid cat:
I'm not really an animal person but he's so happy and contented it's hard not to like him. I scratched his head when I passed him earlier and he's STILL PURRING. Happy as Larry, whoever Larry is.

And I think the tadpoles are doing ok. They are still in their frogspawn and I can't get a good picture of them. I think they'll be more photogenic when they...hatch? I dunno, 'eat their way out of their mucus sac' doesn't sound as nice, somehow. But they seem happy enough. Not as happy as the cat obviously, but I don't think anything has ever been as happy as that cat.

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Have given up already

...on the granny square blanket. I did two squares but they look rubbish, and nothing like in the book. Also, they are different sizes. So instead I am going to try knitting something with two strands of wool. It'll probably be a tea cosy, since I'm in the habit of knitting them at the mo. But aren't they brilliant?! You feel like you've actually achieved something and in a very short space of time.

I have achieved a lot this week. I have:
1. Watched Steinbeck's 'Of Mice and Men' at the Edinburgh Lyceeum, which was eight out of ten
2. Arranged a visit for a very famous poet
3. Hmm, actually I thought this list was going to be longer. Turns out I haven't done very much at all this week. Oct well.

Anyway, very exciting news in the Bumbaleerie Mansion! I went for a walk at the weekend and guess what I found? Frogspawn! So yes, I'm going to have tadpoles! And then I will have frogs! It's the gift that keeps on giving. I'm so pleased, we used to get them all the time when I was wee and I can't wait to watch them...um...polinate? Frog-afy? Frogafy will do. The little cat is very nosy so stuck his nose right into their tub, got a beak full of water and sneezed for a million years. Now he just sits next to them and glares at them suspiciously. He is very stupid, but also quite nice. Right! Plans for this week!

1. Finish the secret quilt
2. Start the second secret quilt
3. Buy some zips to experiment with (sewing, obviously, not learning how to use a zip)
4. eat breakfast every day - today is Tuesday and I had breakfast both today and yesterday. So that's a good start.
5. Take my library books back - ALL of them
6. Get better at making coasters, I really think this is going to work for me. Yesterday I sat at my sewing machine (HUSQVARNA, oh yeah!) to get some inspiration for a quicky project but the muse was just not with me. Instead, I just arranged fabric into neat little piles then messed them up again. I don't like tidy.

Six things is pretty realistic, hey?

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Aaah, Saturday!

Is there anything nicer than Saturday in Scotland?
Nope! So I got up, had my porridge and started knitting:

and then realised I'd made a mistake. So went in a huff. Then ripped it back:
and then left it in peace. I had a notion to start crocheting a blanket - I've done one before but it's rubbish. So I bought this wool:
and I'm going to make granny squares. Sortofa....square a day idea. I'll keep you posted hahaha! Also, here's some homemade dodgy bunting:
It's very difficult when you want to be good at something but are not. Ah well, practice, practice! Now I am off vistin' the parents for some spoiling. Toodle pip!