The One Where I Learn About Myself

Further to my 'Turning Twenty-Seven and Hating It' list of resolutions here, I thought I'd add a wee bit on 'What I've Learned About Myself Recently'. Sorry for being so self-absorbed. Maybe soon I'll do a post on a worthy cause and you'll all be like 'oh, what a caring person she is! She's taken time away from fretting about her frankly APPALLING eyebrows to care about this caring cause that needs caring about. She is so caring. Caring is the word I would use to describe her.' and I'll be all humble and all 'Thanks lads, but really, we should all care more about (enter cause here)' and we'll all agree and shake on it.

But until then, here's my new list:

1. MY HAIR - I honestly think that people with curly hair should get some kind of government-sponsored help. Curly hair costs an absolute fortune to keep in reasonable condition, and I'm not even talking about the obscene cost of getting a decent hairdresser to cut it. No, I'm talking about the general, day-to-day stylin' costs. A few years ago, Sunsilk did this serum-y time styling gel that cost about a Scottish Buck and lasted for a million years and then they stopped making it. But I was young and naive, and I thought 'Oh, I'll try some other junk'. That was about five years ago and I still haven't got over it. Nothing is as good, NOTHING. But I was just about keeping it in check with Pantene's Perfect Curl shampoop (tee hee) and conditioner. And guess what fellas? They've stopped making that too. I've been resorted to buying it on ebay for a hugely inflated sum. Anyway, here's what I've learned about my hair this week: ANYTHING OTHER THAN PERFECT CURL MAKES MY HAIR GO RUBBISH. I've tried eighty-two different shampeeps and conditioniis (which I THINK is the plural for both of those words) and nothing is as good.

2. PATIENCE - Lads, I've always thought of myself as a really impatient person and this week I have realised that I am not just really impatient, I am VERY REALLY IMPATIENT.  Especially with computers. I feel like I spend my whole life waiting for pages to load, and I'm aging horribly because of it.

3. TIDYING - I hate tidying because I like stuff, as I've admitted before. But today I realised I not only hate tidying, I am also rubbish at it. Here's a BEFORE picture of the bookcase in the kitchen:

and here's a picture of it after I spent AN HOUR AND A HALF tidying it:

I know you're thinking 'it does look a bit tidier though' and to that I reply: this took me AN HOUR AND A HALF. How? Dunno.

4. SONGS - So, I was driving along it my automobile (Blue Polo, don't have a name for it because I hate nothing more than people saying 'yous' and also people who name their cars), happy as Larry G. Laughtinton, singing along to the radio - Dirrty by Christina Aguilera - and I realised I knew all the words to it, which made me happy. Then it finished, and Yesterday by the Beatles kicked in and I was all 'Yey, I know this one too!' singing away, then IT finished and Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep rocked out. And I was singing along to that, when I suddenly became aware of a creeping sense of dread. I knew all the words to that too. And I thought, I know all the words to A LOT of songs, even fast ones like La Bamba and rubbish ones like Mr. Boombastic and surely that's not normal. And then I tried to remember my home telephone number, and I COULDN'T! And then I thought, what if I get kidnapped?! How will I contact Husband?! I don't even know my own phone number! But then I realised, if I do get kidnapped, I'll just bellow Mr. Boombastic to them and they'll release me pretty sharpish. But still, what else has been pushed out of my brain to make way for the lyrical stylin' of Ricky Martin et al?!

These are not favourable qualities old beans, not favourable at all. Is it too late to change my entire self?